yasus yasus kalinikta

Music Review One: Fool's Gold

2009-07-06T20:27:00.017-04:00

The album opens with a cantina scene. SURPRISE! It’s a party. For you. Look, they’re bringing a cake, and this is the song they are singing as they shove too-sweet vanilla cake from the box into your mouth, smearing a rainbow of sprinkle-dyed frosting across your face. You wish: I wish I was in a small island country, with moonshine, dominoes, and donkeys. You think: Actually I am at a bar, there aren’t that many attractive men here. At least the music is good. And you retreat back into yourself and start dancing.

Was that you’re first Fool’s Gold experience? That was my fantasy first Fool’s Gold experience. Actually, the first song on the album is called Surprise Hotel, not surprise party. The repetitive gleeful, sincere, shamanistic melodies of their first, debut album will transport you to your favorite birthday party fantasy. You think you understand: I know what he’s singing. He’s singing to me. He’s singing about how I feel. Then you realize he is singing another language. The familiar serenades that you were making up words to continue. You continue to make up words. You start thinking of intricate dance choreographies that will go with the next song: Nadine. But you thought he was singing “love it to be not so” or “love to peanut so.” You know he sings neither, but you nevertheless connect with the music. You wish you wore your full African outfit, headdress and all.

For a moment you think you are having an authentic afro-pop experience. You think, I am at the 1985 Live Aid Concert. This band went on just after U2. You start clapping. Clapping! Such a basal human urge! People have been clapping since the dawn of time. Now you are clapping. And singing. You can’t help it. You don’t know the lyrics, but you sing anyway, or hum, or both. Sing and hum. Yeah. Sometimes they just hum too. A band of hummers. You continue the fantasy that you are at the 1985 Live Aid Concert.

Later in the album, you begin to think: Wait, am I at a the 1985 Live Aid concert, or is this a coke inspired dance floor fantasy that I have concocted in the last 30 minutes as I have been coked out of my mind and dancing my ass off with that not-so-attractive also coked-up sweaty guy I met in the line for the bathroom?

So you once again turn inwards and chant the with the next song: Poseidon. And you dance like you are in the sea, pretending to be Ariel from The Little Mermaid. And you are one with the tides of the ocean....

****

Today, I was very lucky in the morning to get the new Fool's Gold album straight to my email (I'm such a bad blog writer, I don't even know what it's called- maybe they haven't named it yet?).

Anyways, if you didn't have the pleasure of watching FG for weeks on end at their residency at the Echo in LA last April, please note the greatness of the band called Fool's Gold. Conjuring the spirit of David Byrne impersonating the best of Fela Kuti and other Afro-pop All Stars, this gay group of gentlemen (and one lady) enthuse audiences time after time (I literally think I've seen them play about 14 times and I still enjoy the show in a genuine "I'm having a lot of fun" sense...). They have a few wonderful wonderful songs, perfect for dancing, cleaning, working, driving, partying, flipping pancakes, or any other more elaborate fantasy that you may want to conjure up.

Luke Top sings in Hebrew, which is totally hot– in general, guys singing in other languages is hot– and everyone else who plays in the band emulates the "way-groovy", good vibes. The best thing about this band is that it is so large (oscillating between 8 and 12 people) that it will inevitably remain a party band. Though much of the essence of Fool's Gold is the gimmick (that's why they're called Fool's Gold, right?)– the mysterious Hebrew lyrics – the Talking Heads circa Tom Tom Club super-party vibe – the classic beats of Afro-pop – the appeal of cute hipster boys playing world music in linen suites – the music remains very catchy and a great pick. Fave tracks: Nadine, Poseidon.

Unfortunately, the only song for MP3 download on the web is the previously linked surprise hotel, which I like, but is not my favorite, favorite, but since I don't want to poach sales, I won't post any more. Perhaps they will post more on their myspace. Album set to release September....

Police Lineup by Ben Gallardo

In other news, they are selling real gold from vending machines across Europe. In case you were wondering where you could get some. I yearn for the day when I carry golden nuggets in my pocket. I will have a file, so I can file some off to pay for something.

Musings on Landscape and Parallax View

2009-07-05T20:51:00.010-04:00

An exercise in response to photos, in preparation for a return to academic writing...

Topics noted, to be explored in future posts in further detail:

Patterns in science
Science fiction influenced landscape
Space-time, the Big Bang
Aerial Photography
Parallax View
Mental Oasis
My personal artist vision
Slavoj Zizek

****

Landscape and our world in general are all a matter of scale and perspective. From one view you see a perspective that can grow, shift, travel time and space, all by simply being viewed from a different place. Hence, one could say we are all looking at the same thing: existence, just from different perspectives. Approaching landscape as a universal entity, one directly tied to nature, existence, and human transcendence gives new life to the field, and inspires my visual aesthetic. As Slavoj Zizek observes in The Parallax View, “the explanation of a universal concept becomes ‘interesting’ when the particular cases evoked to exemplify it are in tension with their own universality…”

As one can discuss and reflect upon the tension between landscape and existence from so many micro- and macro-perspectives, I aim to explore and invoke the connective tissues between the human approach to landscape and landscape itself. When studying the origins of our universe, our solar system, and contemplating our existence as a whole, there are many fascinating implications for our terrain rarely broached in the exploration of landscape, as they seem too conceptual or obtuse.

When one ponders the scientific reality of our existence, it becomes quite incomprehensible. We are made out of the big bang, our essence itself is elements– if we think about the large-scale picture of what we are and where we are, we can loose ourselves… Perhaps that is not such a bad notion. In our contemporary culture of online avatars, strip malls, and endless suburbia, the idea that we are a part of something vast– unexplainable– inexorable– provides a mental oasis. When the best way to experience a beautiful landscape is by watching the Travel Channel, we wonder when the invention of the holodeck will come to fruition.

Few people immediately associate landscape with science fiction, yet when considering that our place-hood and identity is a perspective, not a reality; in a sense, landscape is a perfect example of fictionalized science. Creating landscape and learning from nature’s forms allows us to fictionalize and interpret our reality, an opportunity to make that mental oasis real.

My photography deals with scale and natural beauty, illustrating that rhythms that may appear chaotic, from afar, become standard when followed and mapped through nature. Forms in nature and models of chaos, such as fractals repeat themselves endlessly. Nature, when observed from very far or very close, appears other-worldly– alien, and unnatural. The tension between our normal everyday perception and the alien provides a rich ground for landscape- a place-hood outside our given identity, one that transcends the social constraints of our culture, tapping further into the essence of human existence and experience.

Observation and visual mapping via various technologies offers increasingly vast and removed perspectives of our world: man made structures seen through the panoptic lens of Google Map’s street view, or our cities and globe flattened into a panorama canvassed across our browser window, then, our earth, as viewed from a satellite deep in space… Eventually we find ourselves gazing at our galaxy, then our galaxy among infinite others, and finally with an image of the big bang: the formation of existence. When we ask ourselves, ‘Why is the night sky dark between the stars?’ we find the answer: because at one time, there was nothing.

Consulting Zizek again to instruct our idea of landscape and perspective, he argues, “the fundamental feature of today’s society is the irreconcilable antagonism between Totality and the individual. This means that, ultimately, the status of the Real is purely parallactic and, as such, non-substantial: it has no substantial destiny in itself, it is just a gap between two points of perspective, perceptible only in the shift from one to the other.” By looking to nature to inform our notion of beauty, we can be assured that the most tangible and reliable aspect is the multiple perspectives from which it can be seen.

My art aims to reveal and investigate patterns and aspects of land and nature that are otherwise hidden or unobserved. I am of the opinion that these qualities should inform our sense of beauty and desire, that we can see the reflection of one thing in many things, and that the essence of being can instruct beauty very simply, with the logic of nature. My vision of landscape architecture is at once science and nature based, but fictional– a fiction that can only be built by the imagination and invention of human experience.

****

Zizek

Back to WORK

2009-07-03T23:53:00.016-04:00

Afternoon, Tokyo, Japan, 2005

Tree Garden, Tokyo, Japan, 2005

Rock Slide, Bolinas, California, 2009

Lagoon, Big Sur, California, 2009

Untitled I, Pan American Flight, 2006

Untitled II (Vessel), Pan American Flight, 2006

Untitled III (Tracks), Pan American Flight, 2006

Untitled IV (Peaks), Pan American Flight, 2006

Untitled (Trees), Pico Canyon, California, 2008

Towsley Canyon, California, 2009

Untitled Still Life, Claremont, California, 2009

Tree Wrappers, Kyoto, Japan, 2005

Untitled Still Life (Grass Lake), Pico Canyon, California, 2009

Untitled V (Dark Canyon), Pan American Flight, 2006

This is my photo portfolio that I aim to translate into new work in other media. I am currently debating how I should progress. I am thinking of making dioramas. I remain obsessed with Kim Keever.

Kim Keever's studio

I like the idea of making something that can be seen and interpreted from different views (I'm all about the PARALLAX VIEW). My goal is to produce a number of projects by the end of this year. I am cultivating my brain studio right now and setting forth with goals and things I need:

studio space
notebooks
music
blog
coffee
wine
beer
tea
critics
cinema
theory

I am amassing these slowly but surely! All I need is more substances of interest and late night privacy. I am going to start staying up very very late.

Now that it is summer, I am having familiar productive/destructive feelings and rhythms. Movie watching, afternoon drinking, bad 80's and 90's pop hits. Oh they go together so so well. And of course the creativity is already writhing and riveting in and through my veins. (I think)

Today, in the midst of my late-night-partying-induced slowness, I had to dig up some of the ugliest, most potent of the 80's/90's pop elixer:

Wicked Games, Oh my.
I don't know what I Got Til It's Gone
And then I also got a hankering for that Extreme song, More than Words.

And it feels so good.

back back back!

2009-04-19T00:23:00.006-04:00

just images for now.

prORASTINATE

2007-05-23T19:38:00.000-04:00

i am procrastinating right now, because i need to do work and i just don't want to. things i did today to procrastinate:
sat in tompkins park
walked to union square
walked around farmers market buying cookies and pretending to buy plants
found new friends on myspace
read about monkeys getting the bubonic plague 3x (3 different articles)
read gossip blog
talked on phone
found annoying upstairs neighbors on myspace because they left a flyer on my door

thats alot of procrastinating!!!!
now, i have also made a procrastination appointment for tomorrow already, by setting up a meeting with a designer who is making her own stuff, rather than making the dress that i am supposed to be designing:

below i can illustrate the problem with the pattern that i need to fix and then apply to the design:

yes, and more of a problem when your client does not live in the same place as you. please don't laugh.

funny things i saw today:
cute squirrel
cute dog
my best friends dad's band's myspace page with this picture!

good bye blues, hello

2007-05-16T18:36:00.000-04:00

i am convinced that my boyfriend spends a good portion of his work day looking up cat humor videos on youtube. i want to compete too. i am researching baby videos. blomb!

i mean, when you hate your job, you kind of have to reach out to the child humor in you and just release. r e l eeeese

The Landlord

oh guess what?!????

2007-05-16T17:54:00.000-04:00

well, since its almost summer again, and i have decided i hate my job, i guess it's time to have a blog again! i need to brush up on my brain skills, such as writing and being creative, and maybe, just maybe, alex is with me?
alot of stuff has happened since we were regular with the blog. i am a little saddened that i wasn't around to comment on the worst 6 months of the bush administration. i also decided that i hate my job because it is a new lame corporate job full of jaded over 28s that have lost all sight of humor/humanity. lame!
up and coming in the next few months are exciting things though. i will be finishing a wedding dress for dear friend denise. i will also be finishing the new line of jewelry i am doing, which is much better and more interesting than the last.
there was exciting things in the news today too!

the news brief:
• a 10 week, oh wait, no, month, sorry, old baby was issued a gun license in illinois, despite "strict" gun laws. cool!
• there was a thunderstorm!
• wolfowish could be wishing his way out of the world bank today!!! sweet. not quite just, but anything to get him out, really.
• a super awesome giant turtle with a soft shell was found in cambodia. they thought it was extinct! it doesn't even have a wikipedia page! so giant, so soft.

new to science animal post:
• they found new animals in antarctica, and of course, they are super awesome. (all animals who live in cold, dark places tend to be similarly awesome.)

2007-02-01T23:40:00.000-05:00

2007: All Secrets Revealed!!

2006-12-17T17:47:00.000-05:00

happy winter!

2006-12-17T17:43:00.000-05:00

2006-12-07T22:31:00.000-05:00

2006-12-07T22:27:00.000-05:00

i found this picture of my mom in a book. it blew my mind.

a new level

2006-11-16T16:53:00.000-05:00

aparently the germans are WAY ahead of us in terms of a woman's right to choose, in this amazing article from the bbc,
"A doctor who carried out a failed contraceptive operation has been ordered by a German court to pay financial support for the child."
that means 600 euros a month for 18 years, in case you are wondering.

new world order

2006-11-16T15:44:00.000-05:00

things are really turning around in this country- first the democrats win the house, next they take the senate, i mean, what more could we ask for? it seems like every day there is something new to celebrate! this morning i read this good news: jack abramoff will spend the next six months performing menial tasks and living in a 6 person dormitory. has he become a male model? no. does anyone else see the potential jack-in-the-box commercial here? i guess they don't really have jack in the box on the east coast, but .... i bet he'd do anything to make a little bling while in the slammer! (please consult these emails in order to properly understand ja's earning potential)

well, OOOCHA!!!!!!!!
the old guard is on its way out and the loving, caring, socialists and populists are standing in the minor shadows, ready to come out and hack the conservative reptillian aliens to pieces.

today, for instance, milton friedman died. aparently, according to this short article, milton says, "there's no such thing as a free lunch." um, it's called "your nice friends invited you over and fed you." or, "you have a nice garden in your backyard." or, "chairity".

nancy pelosi is going to be the 1st woman speaker of the house in HIStory. awesome. she says, "i am a person commited to ending this war." AS SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE SHE WILL BE SECOND IN THE PRESIDENTIAL LINE OF SUCCESSION AFTER THE VICE PRESIDENT. please god, please.

2006-10-31T10:31:00.000-05:00

lookie here! it looks like alex is coming out of her blog coma and putting out some "quality product". alex, does this mean you are back for good???
i moved this weekend which was very dramatic, considering the massive amounts of questionably valuble worldy posessions i have accumulated. for instance, a giant box of yarn? a giant bag of fabric? there are so many more of those floating around the usa with my name on it, i question the value of such fodder... the best thing that i have collected in the recent move are plants, of which i now have 6. i would like to name all my plants, please feel free to make suggestions.
the move was dramatic because uhaul didn't have any trucks like our reservation said they would, which led to lots of phone calls in vain (we refused to go to east new york). then, the loading and unloading of the van, from that i learned to love my 1 floor walkup. for the most dramatic part of the story: finally, when we had unleaded everything but the tv from the van, the door of the building blew shut, and we were left on the street with no keys a poor prospects of reentry. luckily, emilio was brave and spry, climbing over three buildings to enter through our back window. ta-da!
in more mundane reading-news, they finally put the last part of this horrible story in harpers, so i could finish it even though i wasn't really enjoying it. sometimes i think harpers is a little insular in the ideas from which it is fed content.
i have started drinking liquorice tea with soymilk. it is delicious. it tastes like chai. it was my own innovation, of that i am very proud of. alex, do you want some liquorice tea with soymilk?

farm

2006-10-19T21:29:00.000-04:00

these are pictures from my farm, summer, and the beginning of fall!

rehashing burnt out hash hashup

2006-09-06T12:59:00.000-04:00

last night i got a myspace message from a guy i met on the internet when i was 12 (went something like, "um i think you still have some of my sonic youth cds....."). this made me think about my relationship with the internet, and how i need to put more effort in so that we don't break up. please internet, don't break up with me. i love you. you are so insane.
it has been aproximately 2 months since i have visited my blog. alex has also been away. we have been renovating our lives, so hopefully the new design will be even more appealing.
things i have done recently that i had not done before:
* used a torrent to download information
* admitted fault in a shameful situation
* visited a friend for the first time
* walked aimlessly around ny
* bought an art book in nyc
* looked at an apartment by myself
* registered at community college
very different.
things that happened while i was away:
exciting visit to my sister.
full house shake up.
intense introspection about my professional life.
new clothes.
housesitting in v. v. nice brownstone (close association with animals).
short visits with alex.
intense exploration of downtown brooklyn.
here are some pictures that came from my summer family time fling starring my sister delia, my dad ivan, me as myself and my two nieces, julia and simone:

playing in water

children's museum, pittsburgh, pa

dancing
children's museum, pittsburgh, pa

swinging
park made from tires, pittsburgh, pa

looking Tuff
private residence, murrysville, pa

don't call it a come back,

2006-08-08T17:08:00.000-04:00

SHE'S BEEN HERE FOR YEARS!

so there've been manatee sightings off harlem, westchester, all over the hudson river.
you can read about it from the nyt:

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/08/07/nyregion/07manatee.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

people used to think manatees were mermaids, when they got peeks at them basking on rocks,
because of their smooth, luminous skin, and two boobs (like dolphins?)
they're even in the order of Sirenia.
they can weigh up to 1000 kg, though.... damn, girl!
they carry their young cradled in their arms, much as a human would carry a baby.

it has even been posited that the traditional image of a mermaid with long flowing hair could be attributed to manatees breaking the ocean surface underneath patches of seaweed, and giving the unfamiliar observer the impression of having long hair.

going back to the aquatic ape theory, before 546 B.C., the Milesian philosopher Anaximander proposed that mankind had sprung from an aquatic species of animal (no doubt influenced by the sailors tales of a humanoid sea creature, beguiling them on voyages with it's feminine allure). he thought that man, with his extended infancy could not have survived, originally, in the manner he does presently.

manatees are slow moving, non-aggressive, and curious creatures, hence their nick name, the 'sea cow.'

look how cute!

elf toddle

2006-08-08T13:27:00.000-04:00

americanelf.com, every day

el comandante: >[]

2006-08-02T10:55:00.000-04:00

my sweet boyfriend shows me cool stuff on the internet all the time. the other day we:
found a new skin for my firefox browser: PIMPZILLA
_and_
played text adventure games like hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy
wierdly both of these sites are from the netherlands! i am so happy these nerdy dutch people are so fucking cool.
look how fun!

in other news, time is running out to visit cuba under castro. i NEED to go. i will write more about plans soon.
viva el comandante!

2006-08-01T14:26:00.000-04:00

2006-08-01T10:36:00.000-04:00

olden daze!

2006-07-30T16:19:00.000-04:00

2006-07-29T15:36:00.000-04:00

AMERICA ******

NOT AMERICA ******

the only newsflash i can handle

2006-07-28T15:53:00.000-04:00

tame foxes!!!! did you look at the videos of the foxes being excited to see the lady. i am literally eating my heart out! oh if only i had the foresight to be a russian wildlife biologist, i could have silver foxes scampering and fussing to be picked up and loved!! oh, the abject horror of this existential mistake. seriously, though, those tame foxes are unbelievably cute. thanx, neil, for the heads up. i'm doubtless gonna be fantasizing about it all day... i'd name mine nooshi, czar czar, and sash.... umm, wait. i've watched both the "tame" fox videos a couple times, and i'm beginning to feel more conflicted. kind of queasy about it, you know? those wild hearts have been tamed. is that worth the fox kisses and sweet yelps? i feel kind of shameful watching their debased subjection to the (kind) researcher. i can't help but be reminded of the Scandal hit, 'the Warrior,' and it's message of undomesticated love;

You run, run, run away
It's your heart that you betray
Feeding on your hungry eyes
I bet you're not so civilized

Well isn't love primitive
A wild gift that you wanna give
Break out of captivity
And follow me stereo jungle child

Love is the kill
Your heart's still wild
...............................

You talk, talk, you talk too me
Your eyes touch me physically
Stay with me we'll take the night
As passion takes another bite,

oh Who's the hunter, who's the game
I feel the beat call your name
I hold you close in victory

I don't wanna tame your animal style
You won't be caged in the call of the wild

dannng........ if there's anything i've learned this year, it's not to try to cage something that was born free. i think kate bush said it best:

I found a fox
Caught by dogs.
He let me take him in my hands.

His little heart,
It beats so fast,
And I'm ashamed of running away

From nothing real--
I just can't deal with this,
But I'm still afraid to be there,

Among your hounds of love,

And feel your arms surround me.

I've always been a coward,

And never know what's good for me.

i'll have to figure this out more later.

liz i'm going to even try to describe our day at the ymca after your account. oh, jimmy and ryan say 'wazzup... ohhhhh, SNAP!'

2006-07-28T14:17:00.000-04:00

our pet fox comes with us on our missions

GYMNASIUM: hs

2006-07-28T11:37:00.000-04:00

yesterday i went to the gym with alex. besides discovering that alex has a removeable hip, plastic hair and (shhh) a private ju jitsu coach, i learned alot about what it is like to go to the gym.
first of all, people are really really serious about working out. trying to make a mockery out of exercise? unacceptable! making faces in weight room mirrors? unacceptable! (wait, i have to eat some more of my boyfriends chocolate covered candied pistacioes) so, needless to say, i think we stuck out a little.
alex secretly has all these jock friends that she lifts weights with, and i was constantly being shushed and shewed because i didn't get their jokes:
"what's the difference between a barbell and a cowbell?"
"what?"
i think we all know my answer to that...
at the gym, alex and i developed our muscles, learned about mexican children, sweated and steamed our hearts out ("I steamed my heart out")
AND THEN,
alex told me about the aquatic ape theory, which i never knew about. !!! (i would explain it more, but i am guessing i am just an idiot for not already knowing but if you don't know you should really check it out...........)
at a certain point, this monologue gained the strange, ominous, mystical accompanyment of an autoharp.
strummmmmmmm
jingle
alex is starting an autoharp band called harpooner. i think that sounds dirty!
we are currently developing the band insignia. (think piercing sea flesh)

##################################################

there is a newsticker>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
all the news>>>>>>>>>
keeps on happening>>>>>>>>>>
all the time>>>>>>>>>>>>>

[[tick]] HEATWAVE 2006
california is just too hot!
deaths:
25,000 cattle
700,000 chickens
22 in fresno
[[tick]] who knew security conferences were such a gas!
instead of meeting with stuffy stodgy pyongyong delegation this week, the asean regional forum gathered together for song and dance. wierder than most official world power rituals, the forum apparently always tries to "lighten things up" with entertainment and a little "personality." condoleezza rice played the piano. there was a bollywood show about nuclear threats:
"Oh, if only the world was Bollywood, we could all dance and happily prance and declare the world as jolly good," the song went.
"Then we add some handsome heroes, some villains and some nuclear Neros, a Mr Khan, a Dr No, a Mr Kim and a John Doe."
Japanese Foreign Minister Taro Aso sported an overcoat and hat to perform in a sketch featuring cartoon characters such as giant frogs, a Power Ranger and a mutant lobster.

[[tick]] lebannon, wah wah

buddaH lovas

2006-07-27T20:16:00.000-04:00

"In the Swiss city of Zurich, zookeepers said they had been serving the animals ice creams made of berries, meat and bones to cool them down. "
apparently, it's been really hot outside. alex says i can't have my hummer afterall.

2006-07-26T12:48:00.000-04:00

2006-07-25T16:26:00.000-04:00

my day is dedicated to...

2006-07-21T19:21:00.000-04:00

kindred spirits!

sarah malmude: this morning i drempt we were being alternately possessed by this spirit, but it was fun, and not scary after the first time. we didn't do anything crazy when we were under the spirit's impression; it was more like they were trying to tell us a secret about their mystery, by inhabiting one of us and then making ghostly hand motions to the other. i guess that's what usually happens when you talk to someone before bed, you dream of them. i hope you had sweet dreams, cause you are a........
kindred spirit!

liz: why haven't we figured this out yet!!! kitten equals death ray weapon, clearly. i saw a shiftless punk travelling 'couple' yesterday, sitting on the street. they had a tiny orange kitten tied to a pack. a (yuppie) passserby squated down to pet the kitten and it was all fangs, and "RRRRRAWR!"
tiny pseudo-political kitten fury!
anyway, back to the plan... we need to rig up a kitten with a powerful gamma ray blast, so we can flounce into an unsuspecting financial institution and magically finance my need for an amp and a four-track (a la ween), and for you to finance your... um, what do you want?? whatever you want, we'll get it!
and i know you're ready to roll, cause we're.......
kindred spirits!

++*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*++++**+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+**+*****++++

note to the reader: while making this quick post, i suddenly and unexpectedly, felt a 'ween phase' washing into my desire compartment likea blessed wave of brown glitter.
it's been a while, but it's ween time for me, once more.

on the hunt!

2006-07-20T14:02:00.000-04:00

i'm looking for a new job, right now! as we 'speak.' I've got my fingers crossed on this custom frosting job ("Icing Enthusiast Needed"). Also curious about a dance company costume assistantship., though i may lack the formal qualifications. Also angling for admissions/membership girl at the himalayan art museum in manhattan.Do you believe that spells will help me on my employment quest?

we'll see!

maybe i should just rely on my nascent music career...
wish me luck!

she's into some weird shit...

2006-07-18T00:44:00.000-04:00

....but we love her anyway.

!!!

2006-07-16T16:21:00.000-04:00

i drempt i had to do a

2006-07-13T01:32:00.000-04:00

deep sea futuristic mission to code-break a techno-island housing project's security system. i had to blow out all the toxic-mud from a long tube to use as a breathing apparatus. someone was treading water to help me - i don't remember who - a close friend. we had arrived at the complex with a half-submerged water skimming boat. things were just getting interesting...

finding out happiness at work!

2006-07-12T11:30:00.000-04:00

find out your own personal HPI

Happy Planet Index

Your personal Happy Planet Index (HPI) is 26.1, which is similar to that of Zambia, Central African Republic or Belarus. Sorry to say that this is below the world average of 46. For those living in the UK, you’ll also be disappointed to hear your score is below the national average. Your score is about the same as that of your country, 28.8. Below is a breakdown of the various components that make up your HPI score.
You:	26.1
Average:	44.5 [Average is of all online responses to this survey - not the average for your country]

Life Expectancy Your life expectancy is a little below the average for your gender and country. Small changes to your lifestyle could make all the difference, for example quitting or cutting down smoking, eating a more balanced diet, or getting more exercise. Everyone knows these habits can be hard to change, but you wouldn't be the first to do so!
You:	72.1
Average:	78.8 [Average is of all online responses to this survey - not the average for your country]

Ecological Footprint Your ecological footprint is 7.04 global hectares, or 3.91 planets. This is equivalent to the average in Finland or Sweden. Your ecological footprint is below average for the country you live in. Oh dear! You are using between three and five times your share of the planet's resources, even assuming no resources are set aside for other species. That's well above the world average, and even above the average for most industrialised countries. Perhaps it's time to start taking action. Here are some of the most effective steps that everyone can make to reduce their footprint: Leave your car in the garage. Car use has a huge impact on ecological footprint. Obviously it's more difficult for people in certain circumstances, but where possible, try to use public transport more. Or, even better, get on a bike! It's obvious, but we have to say it. Conserve energy. Turn off the lights when you leave a room, buy energy-efficient bulbs and appliances, turn off your TV completely, rather than leave it on standby. Reduce your waste. If there are ways to recycle where you live, try and do so. If you have a garden, start a compost heap. Re-use plastic bags. Give away clothes you don't use, rather than throwing them away. There are hundreds of little things you can do. You don't have to become vegetarian, but cutting down on meat, particularly beef, and particularly from animals fed by imported soya feed, is an effective step to reducing your footprint. It has to be said that air travel is one of the biggest contributors to many people's footprints. For example, flying direct from London to Sydney and back would add 5.44 g ha to your footprint - that's the average Briton's footprint for an entire year. Flights with a connection add even more polluting air miles.
You:	7.04
Average:	4.62 [Average is of all online responses to this survey - not the average for your country]

Life Satisfaction You reported a life satisfaction of 6. This is just above our estimated world average life satisfaction of 5.9. At a national level, your score matches the means for Portugal, Iran and Vietnam. In Britain, just over a quarter of respondents reported a life satisfaction of 6 or lower.
You:	6
Average:	6.72 [Average is of all online responses to this survey - not the average for your country]

Well-being The new economics foundation (nef) recognises that there's more to life than feeling good, which is why our model for well-being is based on four domains – personal feelings, personal functionings, social feelings and social functionings. 'Feelings' refers to your attitude to the way you, your future and society are. 'Functionings' looks at whether you have the opportunities to do the things that bring you well-being. Like with life satisfaction, a score of 5 is theoretically the middle score, but, given the way most people respond to surveys, is below average.
Personal Feelings In this online questionnaire, personal feelings are assessed with two questions – one testing your optimism and one testing your self-esteem. You are optimistic about the future and probably also about yourself.
You:	6
Average:	6.02 [Average is of all online responses to this survey - not the average for your country]

Personal Functionings In this online questionnaire personal functionings are assessed with five questions – two evaluating your subjective opinion on your health and how activity you are, the other three testing you for feelings of autonomy, purpose and worth. You are healthy and overall feel autonomous, purposeful and able to demonstrate your abilities to others.
You:	5.64
Average:	6.09 [Average is of all online responses to this survey - not the average for your country]

Social Feelings In this online questionnaire social feelings are assessed with four questions – three assessing your opinion of your community, whilst the last looks at personal relationships. You have a strong sense of trust and belonging in your community and a happy personal life.
You:	7.61
Average:	5.66 [Average is of all online responses to this survey - not the average for your country]

Social Functionings In this online questionnaire social functionings are assessed with four questions – two assessing your job / studies, one your free time, and one your community participation. If you did not respond to the work / study questions, your score is judged purely on the other two aspects. Your job / course is not really allowing you to function socially in the way that you wish. Either it is very dull and unrewarding, or it is very stressful, leaving you little time to do the things you enjoy - or a bit of both! Are they any ways you could make it a little better for you? Alternatively, one way to relieve the boredom of work, can be to find other focuses of interest. Many take up voluntary work to offer them an alternative purpose.
You:	5.49
Average:	5.57 [Average is of all online responses to this survey - not the average for your country]

world fashion part III

2006-07-11T02:05:00.000-04:00

(guys can be real jerks some times)
(life in new york can be _so_ hard)

from the bbc...
Meskerem lives with her mother, her uncle and four siblings in a one-roomed mud shack in the city centre. It’s in a sprawling shanty area just behind the five-star Sheraton Hotel. She charges 1 birr (11 US cents) to clean a pair of shoes. On a good day at the weekend she can earn between 5 to 7 birr.

"When I first started the boys came up to me and told me to go away," she says.

"They told me they would earn less because I was a girl and men would prefer to come to me. The boys threatened me. Sometimes customers and passers-by insult me and make me cry."

"I wake up just before 0700 and go to a food centre. If they have food I have breakfast, if not I just go home. My mother leaves home for work at 0600 and gets back at 0800. I sweep the floor and do other chores until she returns. Then I go to school until 12.30 and come home for lunch. If there’s lunch I eat, if not I go back to school for the afternoon session, which lasts until 1530. Then I go home to collect my shoe shine boxes and work until 1800. Then I sleep."

i wish i could give this girl the three dollars i spend on coffee every day so that those assholes wouldn't make her cry. that would be 6 times as much as she makes now. if i had six times how much i made now i don't even know what i would do.

yearning to be free!

2006-07-10T13:53:00.000-04:00

yeyeyeyahhh

2006-06-30T15:42:00.000-04:00

SCOOP! elizabeth was at work and an hasidic man in full regalia came in to try on a jean skirt -- a short one!! he was alll nervous about it and asked her how she thought it looked. it sounds like that time i went into the sports authority and tried on jockstraps. they were sooooo weirded out!

bat out of hell

2006-06-27T11:27:00.000-04:00

yesterday there was amazing mist and fog here in maine. i was in the car with ariella, my stepsister, and her boyfriend charlie. they go to school at reed, and we all agreed that it felt like temperate rainforest.

i want to move back to portland oregon.

anyway, so ariel said that aurora (her sister) was visiting someone in new york who goes to bennington with her, and the girl was like, "oh, you want some milk? go ahead into the kitchen." (this is in a fancy nyc loftish place). so she goes into the kitchen and meatloaf is standing at the counter, and aurora's like, out of the kitchen again, whispering "holy shit, meatloaf's in your kitchen!" (can you do an exclaimation point when it's whispering???) the girl's says, "yeah, that's my dad." it's really a better story if you hear the meek way she said it was her dad, but WOAH wouldn't that be so awesome to have him as your dad.
i would wear his pirate shirts. i would have people come over and unknowingly run into him in the kitchen!!!
ariel brought it up because we were listening and having a sing-along to the long, better version of Meatloaf and Bonnie Tyler singing "total eclipse of the heart." that song is brutal:

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart

i don't know how to make my voice all scratchy and smokey, like b.t., but ariel can.
on the topic of dark romanticism, did you know that Ted Hughes destroyed the last three years' worth of Sylvia Plath's journals after she committed suicide? I really wonder what she wrote about. i heard that the contents of her disappeared writings are concealed symbolically within his childrens' book, "The Earth Owl and Other Moon-people." If you can get your hands on that book, let me in on it and we'll solve the mystery. actually, all his children's books look pretty crucial:

Fangs the Vampire Bat and the Kiss of Truth
Shaggy and Spotty
Nessie the Mannerless Monster

talk about crypto-LumberGoth!

ok, well, more to come. i took lots of pictures in maine.

funder my thunder

2006-06-13T20:19:00.000-04:00

world fashion part II

2006-06-13T19:46:00.000-04:00

reading the news today was really depressing. lots of really bad things happened all over the world. (palestinians on a beach, bush-or impersonator-in iraq, americans riled up about winning the war, guantanamo suicides, child labor, "kill iraqis" marine song, african war lords, bla bla, bla) but thats why we have to try to look at the brighter side of things and focus on the positive, like the wonderfully inventive way of life that exists despite obvious obstacles. so this is the world fashion primer for today:

sudanese refugees watch the world cup

street children in ethiopia wear inventive crowns
while breaking their daily bread

folk fashion reinhabits the domicile in bolivia

friday night partee

2006-06-09T23:25:00.000-04:00

hi. i am babysitting! tonight is a party, with me, the creatures, and my best friend, my computer. BABYSITTING is the best thing to do at night, second to watching movies, but alot of the time at babysitting you can watch movies too.
the other day i was thinking of jobs i could have and i was thinking i don't have enough experience to have jobs that i want. it made me think of a time when i was in college when a friend was moaning and groaning about freshman and sophmores in 300 level classes. the conversation went something like,
"i can't stand it when these people are in the class and have to have bullshit like terminology that they should already know explained to them, it totally slows down the whole class and it is just because they want the presitege of the upper level class."
"you don't think someone who didn't have the framework of the lower level classes could add something to the class anyway?"
this person went on to never finish college, having been placed in a high level job.
can i get a similar high level job? i never felt like i wasn't contributing to the upper level classes. besides isn't there no way that anyone could have a "complete background" in something?
it is annoying that my boss at my internship is only 2 years older than me. how do some people get such nice high paying jobs when they look for jobs and other people get such crapy jobs or jobs that don't pay them anything or crapy jobs that also don't pay anything.
it all seems very arbitrary.

\(-__-)/*****************

this last week was the one year anniversary of me moving to new york.

things i know i like about new york:
puerto ricans
roofs
riding the train while reading
adventure walks
sitting in parks
sitting and walking in general
eating
people watching
chatting with strangers
maximizing space
sheer multitude of eating establishments
sheer multitude of people i like or would like to like
ease of bumping into people
ease of avoiding people
babysitting
witnessing details of strangers or aquaintances due to close proximity
lack of standard for exact time
rain and mist

today i bought 4 plants:
a money plant
a lavendar plant
english ivy
a heart leafed p____ (hangs!)
rue, a provincal country herb

i guess thats five plants
i also already have a basil plant, which i have nursed from a wee babe into a real grown basil plant.
i hope my plants will not die.

tearful SnuggledBlogsnot farewell!

2006-06-04T16:53:00.000-04:00

sweeeeeeeeeeeeties! i will i will iwill keep a running list, etc, of what i do up in maine, for YOU and for EVERYONE. didn't i do that last summer? no matter, this time will be better! oh, do i have plans? yes! so many.
only a smalll part of the plan is dispatching packages to everyone who's given me their address so far. and NO, neil, they will NOT be leaves and teeth. how far into the forest do you think i'm going?!?!!? if you want a package/letter, and i love/like/know/dig you, email me your address (or you can message it to me on fiendster, etc.)!!! i promise to send anyone who takes the time to do this a lovely or strange little nugget.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

2006-06-02T01:08:00.001-04:00

dear blog. something really sad is happening. something very bad and sad. alex is moving to maine. she is going without me. she doesn't want to be in new york anymore. she doesn't want to come hang out with me at work anymore. she has had her last cake shop beer? she has had her last nikki's vietnamese sadwich. alex, are there pool tables in main? how about parks? have they ever heard about "parks" in maine?
before i was born my mother owned 25 acres of land in maine. it had a hut. oh, wait, new englanders call them "cottage". it had a cottage. supposedly my mom sold it so they could remodel our house in california. they remodeled our house really badly (bad as in Bad Taste) and then the house was gone and so was all that stuff in maine. so i never went there.
if i had been from a different type of family, maybe i would be the one threatening to move to maine for the summer. i bet my house in maine would have horses too. and a light house. instead all i can say is my house used to have a rubber plant that they removed when remodeling. what kind of freak _gets rid of their rubber plant_?
other wildlife growing around my house:
grapefruit tree
fig tree
bamboo
persimon tree (i always thought persimmon was from the root persephonae)
oak tree
bird of paradise
peach tree
plum tree.
what is a fig? i never learned what a fig was. i always assumed that there was a fruit that then shriveled into a fig, which then shriveled into a date, which then became a seed or "pit". i don't think that's how figs work.
dear alex, i am moving back to california. i haven't told anyone yet. please don't tell anyone.
psych! just kidding.
dear princess alex, please do write on your trip to maine. it would be most kind if you were to relay your cherished experiences back to us, your "blog friends".
love,
elizabeth

chuck norris party in my mind!

2006-05-31T14:26:00.000-04:00

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

Normal razors and hair trimmers do not affect Chuck Norris’s beard. He created his own grooming machine, but anyone who has seen it later died of roundhouse kick related injuries.

When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey, " and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."

Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.

Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity.", then you are dead wrong.

One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

***********************************************

more to come!

***********************************************

Chuck Norris responded to the Chuck Norris Facts on his official website with the following statement:

I'm aware of the made up declarations about me that have recently begun to appear on the Internet and in emails as "Chuck Norris facts." I've seen some of them. Some are funny. Some are pretty far out. Being more a student of the Wild West than the wild world of the Internet, I'm not quite sure what to make of it. It's quite surprising. I do know that boys will be boys, and I neither take offense nor take these things too seriously. Who knows, maybe these made up one-liners will prompt young people to seek out the real facts as found in my recent autobiographical book, "Against All Odds"? They may even be interested enough to check out my novels set in the Old West, "The Justice Riders," released this month. I'm very proud of these literary efforts.

live blog from work (shhh)

2006-05-30T14:11:00.000-04:00

at work, i am spacing out and having i heart katamari fantasies when i close my eyes. i have intense urges to see rainbows and stardust and planets. also, intense urges to abandon responsibility and have some sort of party. mind party. travel party. swim party.
new thoughts: why haven't i been checking my favorite music blogs lately?
more to come...

2006-05-29T20:50:00.000-04:00

today i went to brighton beach with my friends for memorial day. it was really fun! i have managed to wrangle some free time lately, and this week i have actually had wednesday, friday, and today, monday, off. if that is not the most awesome thing ever! some things i have been wanting to do with my free time:
paint some portraits
read
practice good hygene
cook

the other day (the other Day I Had Off), on a whim, i looked up my favorite tv show on the internet, and low and behold, it had a website. Great Chefs of the World was on my entire childhood, and, as i missed so much school as a child, i have many memories of watching at home during my days off. the show travels around the world in search of the greatest chefs known, and watches them while they make their specialty. it is no frills with just some british guy translating as the chefs mumble to themselves with relaxing jazz guitar in the background. what the chefs make is ridiculous- so complex, it truely only resembles an artistic interpretation of food.

they (pbs) stopped playing it recently, and i was very concerned when i saw the website was based in new orleans and looked like it was made in 1994, but my trusty friend emilio called them, assuring me that they are intact. so intact we found that we could buy the whole series for 350$. thats a steal! i am seriously considering getting another credit card for the garuntee of this purchase. oh, i am forgetting. the best part about the website is that they have all the recipes. All Of Them. you should really check it out if you have any interest in food and/or elaborate ritual.

2006-05-27T11:55:00.000-04:00

i am trying to decide whether to buy a banjo or an autoharp.

food safety

2006-05-24T20:52:00.000-04:00

last night i got food poisoning for the second time in a year. remarkably and also terrifyingly, both instances were born of my personal home cooked cuisine. is new york just a place where things spoil fast or am i a harbinger of my own death?
the first time, the poisoning was admittedly not my fault, as i had bought some tainted loose packaged lettuce from the nasty grocery down the street. my luck, and i was down for about 2 days. i will never eat unpackaged greens again.
this time, i ate some pasta that i had had unrefridgerated all day, eating it for dinner because i did not have time for lunch. i didn't think that eating pasta that had been in tupperwear all day would be bad- i have lived a long life and had never poisoned myself on "old lunches" ever. the pasta didn't even have meat or dairy product in it and also had lots of garlic that is supposed to kill bacteria. sadly last night was my turn to learn my lesson about old lunch.
Old Lunch is no longer acceptable.

better, more organized fashioning of a blog post

2006-05-18T23:42:00.000-04:00

SCENES FROM WORLD FASHION 2006

dear readers,
have you ever had the priveledge of attending a world fashion conference? unknown to most "weathered" new york fashionistas, many of the most engaging fashions and styles happen in far strewn corners of the pan-geographica. today, we will take a look at these daring fashion setters and their perspectives on what is what to wear, and WHY.

kazakhastan's eagle hunters

fashionable in multiple senses, the eagle hunters know the secret of accessorizing: eagle and hat, this man looks like he means business. the hat is decorative without loosing any serious implications of stature or rigidity. the eagle acts as an ever-changing accessory and also as defence. rather than a mangy little dog, like most westerners have, the eagle is independant, sharing responsibilities like hunting and protecting.

after the eagle has killed its prey, the hunter allows it to have the first taste, as a gesture of respect and gratitude. the eagle in exchange, maintains cordial relations. the eagle, the most important aspect of this ensemble is a symbol employed by many cultures, even appearing on the flag of new york state, but kazakhastan takes the utilization of the eagle's majesty into a much deeper, literal sense, applying it to everyday apparel.

mother and child in afghanistan
obviously, this little girl's green with sequin matching bonnet/dress set is totally adorable, but then, placed next to her is the grey hijab of her mother, jacquared with subtle hexagonal viewing mesh. the color of the grey in contrast with the bright green is quite a daring statement to make, enhancing the outfit of the mother substantially. both thusly look elegant and well paired, while maintaining a traditional and conservative look.

iraq hay fields
this little girl has not yet been tainted by western fashions she may have seen on the american soldiers that have likely invaded her neighborhood. she does seemed to have formed a serious demeanor never the less, making her serious and probing gaze comparable to that of the western model. her fashion is much better though, as it is obvious that to her, accesorizing comes naturally. the subtle hues of her bracelet and headband accompany what might otherwise have been misconstrued as "busy" capri-sleeved dress.

this will conclude today's topic of world fashion.

stop the presses!

2006-05-18T23:19:00.000-04:00

look! i still have a blog! so far, all efforts to make blog posts in recent times have been thwarted, due partly to the evil ruler time and partly to his more evil commrad, indulgence. yes, indulgence meaning not doing things properly or for the right reasons, or also just being too exhausted to make better decisions. better decisions like writing in the blog.
so, i have, in the very few moments that i have spent with my computer in recent times (i've been whoring around with *ugh* a desktop ), compiled some things to blog about. not that i will blog about them with the initial enthusiasm as i would have, say, a month ago, but, it still seems worth a go...
what do we have here?

there were riots in mexico a few weeks ago and the city police got it good!

as you can see here, the young folk are gloating in their success...
what's this?
black people in outerspace!
i have no idea where that came from. i think it's a record cover or something...?
ok, i have a better idea for a blog post. i'm going on to the next one.

alchemy notes

2006-05-10T15:44:00.000-04:00

The dark material fire of the black sun divides spirit and soul from the putrefied body.

Decay is a wonderful smith, who transfers one element to the other.

bland

2006-05-10T10:06:00.000-04:00

some plans for june:
practice banjo
photo series (planned but secret)
help dad build porch on his house
put in a couple days a week at dole's orchard
practice driving
fox spell
ummm. i don't know.
it's kind of a mess. lisxszzzz, i wish you would take over for a bit and ground this blog with some practical diagrams and explanations on how to use illustrator, or something. or a critique of dumbo workDay streetFashion, cause i'm flailing. i only see people (i.e. friends) at night - sometimes - and it's beginning to get weird. and the gray weather show no signs of stopping. it's messing with my circadian rhythms -- toooooo bright and no discernable modulation of tone. ahhh.

isn't that what love is made of?

2006-05-03T21:57:00.000-04:00

f.y.i.

i eat things in a weird way, most of the time. liz calls it 'utilitarian,' but i think she's wrong about what it means to eat only a couple of ingredients - often in unexpected combinations - at a time.

it's a FULLER appreciation of each component!
also, one of my favorite things is to eat a huge quantity of a certain vegetable, until it's flavor no longer makes sense,
i.e.,

6 servings steamed spinach
whole bag baby carrots (with wasabi dip)
3 grapefruits
three tomatoes (with salt n' pepper, who just happened to stop by)
half a pound snow peas
(each of these were at different sittings, i hope you understand)
large can canned corn

i also like to make what i call 'raw sweet stew.'
you mix ginger preserves, plain yogurt, bananas, sunflower seeds, coriander, cold oatmeal, and dried spicy mango into a nice textured - you guessed it - 'stew.'
i ate that last night.
there are so many possibilities for what you use, but it has to be cold, include sweet fruit, and at least one spice. try it!

i'm also getting good at salads because i persuade the kids i nanny to enjoy them more and more these days.
i use lots of pine nuts, goat cheese, balsamic vinegar and - stay with me now - celery! hmmm, i guess that's not so special...

maybe i've said too much.
i've just been thinking about food today because i have accupuncture tomorrow and i want to ask her if she thinks i should go on a detox adventure.

oh, i went to a store that sells old prints (from 19th century anatomy, botony, and childrens' books, maps, etc.) and almost lost my bearings, i was so overcome with delight.

they had a page from one of my old favorite books when i was very small, called, The Vege-Men's Revenge (originally published in 1897, but reissued in 1987).

it's sooo great, it's a precursor to the wizard of oz/alice in wonderland.
this girl Poppy falls down a hole in a field or something and goes to the land of the vegetables and they plant her and she grows and multiplies and then they get ready to cook her all up and have a feast.

so she learns the valuable lesson that plants feel anger, are vicious, don't like being eaten, or something.

the best part is, when all the little 'veggie-Poppies' come up, in all the shapes of regular veggies, they're all wearing little blue and white striped dresses, and they all have headbands, too!!!

you shall not pass!

2006-04-27T12:04:00.000-04:00

the last couple of days i've been playing 'Lord of the Rings Risk, Trilogy Edition' with Boaz because he's been home sick. it is getting pretty high stakes. neither of us had ever played risk before, so we started the game without understanding the strategy/point system quite right. i made some grave (but well-intentioned!) errors in placing battalions at the beginning, and he either got lucky, or snowed me into thinking he didn't know what he was doing any better than i did. now, i'm not going to say he's winning (i have the whole of gondor and almost all of the eridaor, or something, on lock), but it's going to be tooth n' nail. he's nine!!! ah, he'll never let me live this down. now we're gonna watch 'a funny thing happened on the way to the forum' and i'm going to make him another blue banana smoothie. peace!

head over heels

2006-04-15T22:55:00.000-04:00

go get her... it's your house!!!

yesterday i went hiking in the catskills.
(veiled apology at blogging lapse)
there were many bizarre and mindBloggeling occurrances:

we happened upon a quietly raging FOREST FIRE at the trailHead we wanted to hike

saw two very vertical waterfalls and had trouble with impulse control that was downright chilling (i.e. "but what if i just jumped in the stream and let nature take it's course?!?!?")

ate off a fistSized ball of chocolate, beaverstyle, leaving teethTrails

had acid/endorphin hallucination about expanding pickUp truck, as usual after an intenseHike.

got a honking blister, on just one heel ?!?!

AHhhhh liz'z''z' sticking needles in her eardrums!
i will humor your hexes, your aristocratic wizard voice belongs in a bookOnTape, my army is vanquished, smooshed in it's infant stage by eager fiddleHead smooshing fingerTips!!!

2006-04-11T11:46:00.000-04:00

the weekly primer:
* apparently france has a problem with capitalism (in case you don't read french- i had to ask- "contract for HELL")
* they are accusing children left and right of witchcraft in the congo. “Child sorcerers have the power to transmit any disease, including Aids, to their family members,” a pastor of a revival church in Mbuji-Mayi told HRW. so, below, children are being excized of their demons. that sounds healthy.
* also, drug companies are inventing new diseases so they can sell more drugs. that's cool. i don't think we have opened the aids reappraisal discussion on the blog, but my friend marcel is a firm believer that hiv isn't a real disease.

* they cought the sicilian mafia boss bernardo provenzano, who has supposedly been on the run for 40 years. wow. that really makes me want to watch the godfather movies.

* more protests yesterday

so i guess this is a good place to consider what the world is like today. hopefully coming soon: fictional elaborations on the news.

lessons learned last night:

2006-04-08T00:30:00.000-04:00

* kate and i are UNDEFEATED as doubles pool players

* when i've got some beers in me, i don't have the presence of mind NOT to INVITE strangers to step on my new shoes to 'break them in'

* bicardi limon tastes nasty

* french serge gainsbourg cover bands can get a bit annoying with go-go dance moves and affected smoking postures

* don't go downstairs into a club that is decorated like the pits of hell, but with brazilian pop and water sprinkling on you from unknown sources, even for five minutes.

* sometimes, i can't hold my liquor

* just like ELIZABETH, i yearn to explore more diverse forms of leisure!!!

agitated,
bouncy, brash, buoyant,
chipper, chirpy,
effervescent, effusive, elated, excited, exhilarated, exuberant,
frothy,
gushing,
high-spirited,
irrepressible,
vivacious,
zestful, zippy

alex, will you read me the george saunders piece in the new yorker?

2006-04-07T19:58:00.001-04:00

chairman bush greets the droves of breen drones from special transport hovercraft:
the war machine continues, hail new world, god willing
middle territory, april 2006

"no."
"why not?"
"because i'm reading something else."
(a letter)
this is the type to stuff you have to put up with when you got friends with a *bad attitude*
!!
today i went shopping with my boyfriend. i bought a pair of jeans and some dope [drug dealer lingo] sneakers. shopping was lame, but at the end of the day i came across the best sneakers ever and now i won't have to go shopping for another year.
i tried to clean my house this morning, but it didn't work very well, especially becuase again, i have not done my laundry. good thing i bought another pair of pants [buys 4 more days]
today it got hot in ny after it rained. i broke a sweat on the subway on the way home. crazy! i bet its going to be sweaty summer real soon.
unfortunately i have to work all weekend (perhaps for the rest of the summer. that will be lame but at least i can afford my new sneakers and some nice food from trader joes). working on the weekend shouldn't be that bad anyway- on saturdays i work with my boss and she is funny and buys us nice food like pizza from lombardi's.
i have to figure out something fun to do tonight, because my boyfriend is going to spamalot and i have ruled out drinking (moratorium in effect). does anybody have any suggestions for liesure (productive/fun activities that i have already done recently, and thus are ruled out: sewing, walking around town, watching tv shows/movies, cooking elaborate food, sleeping, scrabble. what the fuck else is there to do? reading? i just tried to get alex to read to me and she won't!
dear alex, please stop chain smoking!
love, elizabeth

we've gotten a facial tattoo!

2006-04-04T18:52:00.000-04:00

yoko, this is my internet apology for missing the april fool's party.
do you remember this day? postOregon, preHell.
thank the stars those facial tattoos came off with the lazer treatments.
thank the stars my eyebrows grew back.
thank the stars i photoshopped out the third member of this longAgo afternoon.
yay!

2006-04-03T18:35:00.000-04:00

woah... that sounded embarassingly sincere - liz, give me a pill or something!!!

celestiambling

2006-04-03T18:20:00.000-04:00

the rain is like a cage, the maudlin tangle of your life under the clouded sky's curious glare. i noticed a strange ambling gait in my step today, as i walked away from visiting miele. fortelling an adventure? no just my flat shoes with no cushioning. i re-re-remembered all my projects that i put on hold because of how i was going to move to this farm. now that i can't move there, those plans are strangely shaped for my new hands, my gloves left out in the rain. i feel like maybe placing them down and going somewhere i can be really useful -- materially useful.

hymnal hum, humbling home

2006-04-01T16:13:00.000-05:00

today is my half birthday. it is also my best friend's birthday.
i am dedicating the stormy warm weather of today to him.

wake up and listen close
warm up and come down through the hills
towards the warm, red lamp window

sixz fingaz 4 u

2006-03-31T13:16:00.000-05:00

so between beginning the diamond age, learning about 'ractions, and reading cf fan fiction, i am inclined to believe that the mexican terrorist group, "the six fingered fist" is in fact real.

Hazardous Material Storage; Nuevo Laredo Mexico summery; case #2145 1998

ps

2006-03-28T14:30:00.000-05:00

boriqua?

revolucion es el remedio

2006-03-28T12:48:00.000-05:00

so there have been huge protests in la this week in response to the immigration bill hr4437 that is up. these are pictures from the la march (1-2 million) on march 25 from la imc, but there were also student walk outs- hs and ms (26,000) on 27 march.

it really bothers me when people give mexicans a hard time about being in the us, especially because a gigantic chunk of mexico was basically stolen from the mexicans in similar fashion to the lands of the native americans. as can be learned from most great world conflicts, people have attachment to land that they've had for a long time and will come back! i guess its not true for all of the united states, but at least where i'm from, mexico is a very strong referencial basis for most aspects of daily life.
for instance, i lived on hermosa ave. you would take that to colorado, and then take figueroa to school. i think we took a school trip to sacramento once and learned all about how cortes came to california in the 16th c. or something. after school i would eat a delicious mango with lemon and salt on it. yum!
"americans" hate mexicans becuase they are racist, and they like to think they're better than people that have less money than themselves. it really makes me mad when people think that mexicans are lazy because most mexican immigrants have probably worked far harder in their life than anyone who went to college and got a fancy job.
the new immigration policy is laughably horrid, and i really hope that people other than mexicans can protest about it too, because laws like this will affect everything about this country. if this law had existed when my grandmother had tried to come to this country, i would not be here.
hopefully people will get really pissed about their mexican friends and fellow nationals being treated so badly and targeted with such racist furvor and protest all over the united states. (sigh, but probably not) in any case, it makes me proud to see so many people united in protest in this lame country where people are too embarrassed to let their political identities show.

this animal is real!!!!

2006-03-27T23:33:00.000-05:00

my mom knows all the sixties dances:

the watusi
the bus stop
the mash potato
the twist
the swim

**{picture is NOT my mom}

do the dances people i know have names? can we name them if they don't have specific names already? i know some of the dance moves i do could be called:
the ringwald
the impatient shimmy
the supermarket
the bus stop
the muppet
the axl

people i know do some special moves, too. if i was to name them, some might be:
the snaps n' twirl
the snaps n' side-hop (different person)
the eyes-up sway
climbing the rope
the generic booty shake
the frantic prance

is the size of the smile in a photo of a stranger a clue to their everyday happiness? there are some people (not people i know) who smile the same smile in every (anticipated) photo. what makes them do this? it is not the way i approach photographing. i want the photos to show what has happened in my life, or in the lives of people i know. but maybe it is better to show the same unwavering smile in each moment, the smile you are reaching for, practicing for a time when the smile will never leave your face?

this is my mom. she always looks so youthful to me. she is probably in the ocean looking at the coral reefs right now.

my mom teaches pre-K. i babysat three- and five-year-old brothers on sunday. it was hard! we had fun, but they also "tested my boundaries."

examples of fun:

experiment with all spices from cupboard in a bowl of water, which we all tasted (lemony-tasting face + "mmmm")
chutes and ladders, first with the board, then freestyle on arms, couch, feet, noses
drawing elephants with planes and a lake, and a bear in a cave with an apple tree and bees
construction of elaborate marble chute and maze
making popsicles (which must be checked every 20 minutes to see if they've froze yet)
reading 'blueberries for sal' before tuck-in
fishing for magnetic-lipped fish in the bathtub during bath

examples of boundary testing:

splashing soapy johnson & johnson bubble water in my face
throwing banana peel at me with delighted giggling
pouring water on the floor in the kitchen
snatching take-out menus and flinging into the soapy, filling bathtub
refusing to speak to younger brother, causing him dismay for no reason
requesting cinnamon toast before dinner and then not being able to finish pasta

anyway, kids are a trip! these particular ones were REALLY smart. liz has babysat them before and can back me up on this.

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

"The ants made a faint crunching sound as life left them. Like an elf eating toast, or a crisp biscuit."
there are two kinds of people: those who killed ants as children, and those who didn't.

week of horror

2006-03-26T01:13:00.000-05:00

so this week lots of traumatic shit happened. for instance i went to trader joes. i grew up with one of the 3 orig. trader joes in my neighborhood, so the blooming of the trader joes corpo-monster is a new/disturbing/funny thing to happen. trader joes, welcome to nyc where pensioners and nyu students alike can make fake ethnic food in their microwaves! thank you, for allowing crunchies, munchies, savory and sweet fake imports and bulk buying repackaged in trader________'s name. in case some people don't know, trader hoes' potato chips used to come in a paper bag that said habeus corpus. when i was in 3rd grade and went to multnomah magnet, i brought a bag of potato chips to a class party at school and my teacher somehow thought habeaus corpus in latin meant naked people and didn't want to serve them. ha! funnier every day! especially bc on front of the old bag, there was a court scene with some dudes in wigs. btw, in case you didn't know i don't know how to spell, esp latin, esp bc i am from la! ga says that no one from la knows how to spell, as experienced through her wmbs...
so, to finish up this little story about trader hoes, the potato chips, the sustinance of my childhood since i can remember have stopped being made in their "no-salt" version, mainly as i see, due to the national expansion of the store. lame? i can't even express how lame i think this is (what, were they like, "oh, 'americans' don't like things that don't taste like anything....") i make an effort to complain at all junctions of trader joes customer service: did you find everything ok?- well, actually, no, the potato chips....- oh, do you mean vegetable chips?- no, i didn't mean fucking vegetable chips, i mean the potato chips i have been eating since i was 5 years old, you know before some freak invented vegetable chips in 2001.
anyway, i'm sure most people don't understand, but this is all very traumatizing. but, in case you want to go to trader joes, you could pick up some of the other products they have yet to discontinue like: essence of nature lip balm, wasabi mayonaise, almond butter, blackberry jam, vanilla almond crunch, goat gouda, droste extra dark pastilles, avacados, gyoza, chicken tamales, gerolsteiner, tofutti cuttis- chocolate, double rainbow icecream, chocolate chip cookies, wild rice, hansons black cherry, coffee, la brea bakery bread with olives, pizza with olives and goat cheese, arugula in a bag, kiss my face pear soap, zingos cinnamon mints,
et all other things that i can't think of right now.
sooooo. other horrific things happened too. i went to the doctor, which i thought would be terrible, but was actually quite fun. when i told her how often i drink she asked if anyone had ever told me to cut back- actually, no. huh. she also said that i had very clean teeth. that's remarkable, since i haven't been to the dentist for 2 years. what else? she said that the bike accident i was in a year ago has in fact dislocated my shoulder- that's cool- some things last forever. she also said i was healthy and could get free health insurance because this is nyc. awesome. if anyone is interested in seeing a good doctor, go see her! loretta terranova, brooklyn hospital- 40$ flat rate.
more trauma: don't drink this horrible beer called baltika- the label is in russian so maybe you wouldn't be able to read it, but, know the russian label means danger. today my day was ruined by a baltika headache, the most severe non-hangover headache i have suffered in at least 2 yrs.
um, what else?
not much. thank god alex came back alive and not devoured by crabs known to kill little baby birds. thank god it is almost spring and almost not cold anymore.
i have been having wierd "browsing dreams" where my dreams have a large section where i am observing a selection of objects- technology plays a large role in these segments.
more stuff has happened, but i can't remember. our internet connection has been almost fully erradicated, i think, by this creepy yuppie woman with glasses and two matching miniature terriers downstairs. who do these people think they are? sadly, for morale sake, i think we will have to start buying the internet. wah wah.
whatever. i am just waiting for my world map to get here in the mail.

"... cold cement shower..."

2006-03-25T16:23:00.000-05:00

hi people. i'm back early from culebra. disasters and emergencies were spaced strangely among quick moments and long hours of beauty and transcendence.

list {not chronological}:

baby sea turtle
dangerous walk in the dark
illness and infirmity
rice with butter
cafe bustelo
sunburn on purpose (out of spite?)
pelicans
tiny lizards at the doctor's office
fine grained sand beneath grateful toes
peanut butter and banana sandwhiches at the beach
a wistful tour of a campsite from four years ago
a winsome look into the future
baby chicks wandering around henry and laida's backyard
mosquito net
halographic jesus at the head of the bed
five pool games with mom at local bar on a sunday afternoon
iguana holding up airplane traffic in san juan
sitting next to pilot in six-seater plane over coral reef formations
complete disorientation
unusual appreciation of cold cement shower

in conclusion:
little sea crabs can come across as eerily humanoid in their crafty side-glancing behavior. i would say even MORE human-seeming than many mammals, which is so weird because crustaceans are only a stone's throw away from being bugs!!!

now that i'm back:

organizing fantasy photo project collection,
planning new indulgent magical/fantastical/historical re-enactment photo projects
listening to j. r. r. tolkien books on tape
looking forward to visit from darling cousin, sarah malmude, on tuesday
babysitting actual babies sunday
working on status as a regular at favorite moroccan coffee place, 'the bagel zone'

>>>>>>>^^ i miss my past and future friends!!!!! ^^<<<<<<<

cool earth

2006-03-18T12:13:00.000-05:00

new things happening on the planet today:
* panspermia!
* i forgot to show this picture of an awesome city that i built with my babysitting kids:

* darpa insects infect the planet!
truely, stranger and stranger
* the other day steven forced me to watch the worst movie i have ever seen to date: quintet. we turned it off after 40 minutes because nothing had really happened yet, and i thought we agreed upon its poor quality, but later he subjected a.s. to check out what happened in the end. freak!
so far, the robert altman screenings have done well, but this one, unfortunately was a sci fi don't!

so watching a bunch of bad movies lately has left me cold and doubting about the activity, but today the history of violence is coming in the mail and i am holding out for a cronenberg classic?

la isla de las galletas

2006-03-17T20:11:00.000-05:00

i am pretty much going to puerto rico tomorrow. for nine days. i am the only one i know who looks upon 'vacation' with such utter trepidation! we're going to an island i've been to twice before, first for my spring break freshman year for a week, and then for the whole month of december, 2001. those trips were in way different circumstances, though. anyhow, they have really beautiful coral reefs there. [i suppose this might be my last chance to see coral reefs, what with that tipping point already past.]

to get to the island you take a four-seater plane, which is kind of scary. if i crash, i love you all!

ahh

2006-03-16T15:29:00.000-05:00

today i got my hair cut in a salon for the first time since i was 12 years old. it was really scary! i always think salons are overpriced, snooty and stupid, so this was a challenging activity to my daily life. in looking at the website, i freaked myself out, finding that the salon did Makeovers as well as hair and these haircuts go for 200$. it seems to have turned out ok though. watching someone struggle with making my hair behave like they want it is very amusing. i was getting it cut by an appretice or something for free, so it was even funnier because he was trying to make it perfect for the inspection by his hair overlord ("Hairseer"). he spent about an hour trying to make the curls curly, but not frizzy. after this long ordeal, i felt like celbrating with a bowl of ramen and some gerolsteiner. classy!
so, now i have to try to get some stuff done. i am supposed to make bags to show this lady so she can sell them at her store. i hate making things for the anticipation of people buying them. these bags- like the one i made for myself a few months ago are cool- seem much less cool in looking at them like someone is going to buy them. buying cool stuff is so lame. i was seriously questioning the talent it takes to make jewelry (another market that i am entering) until i saw some jewelry that my boss tried to make. it is always comforting to see bad things with similar intentions as yourself. (going to galleries in nyc is reassuring! i am going to paint this month for soo)
yes, so this anticipation of productivity is totally annoying. it is driving me crazy, making me have wierd dreams and wake up in the middle of the night. the other night i had a dream about the olympics and all the new events they made for them (family costume event, the color of toothbrush, hairstyling re: my dread of haircut). i hate waking up in the middle of the night and i have been trying to erradicate the problem- doing everything i am supposed to do, paying my bills, changing my pillowcase, switching my pillow, adjusting my window, exercising, eating vegetables, drinking water, drinking coffee, drinking beer, drinking less beer, drinking wine, not looking at the computer, reading the news on my computer, washing my hair after 3 days rather than 4, hanging clothes in color order- purple red yellow white green blue grey black, throwing away paper clothes small plastic objects presents. sometimes i really just feel like its hard to get a good nights sleep. i am probably just really anxious about my boyfriend moving here, which will be good, but also crazy, and is happing in the soon future, but not soon enough to be now, and not far enough to be not soon. when i think soon i think now.
maybe if i listen to enough og ron c i will slow down my brain to half speed and sleeping waking thinking will be better.
there are also all these other stupid things that i need to think about that are hard big ideas that suck to think about- i need to learn dreamweaver- that sounds totally lame. i need to take a science class. that also sounds lame. i also need to make a business card. a little better than totally lame.
yeah, so this is why i am too busy to make funny blog posts. i feel really boring and can only think about my sleeping/business troubles.

when he returned he smelled of elderberries

2006-03-15T00:26:00.000-05:00

it's FINALLY the Ides of March....

today i edited an eleven year old's persuasive essay, on the book 'The Captive.' It was kind of hard because the essay needed a LOT of work, but i am unsure as to the standards applied to eleven year old's... what is expected of him?! the younger brother has taken to giving me random hugs, and right after he hugs me he always hugs lola, the cat, too.

i watched t.v. while i was on the elliptical machine today, and was super startled to witness a 'V for Vendetta' commercial with CAT POWER as the soundtrack, and her cover of the velvet underground song, no less! what's going on. incidentally, i have a copy of the comic book if anyone wants to borrow it to read before they see the movie.

i had accupuncture this morning and my doctor put needles in my face, in a new place! she put them next to my nose, JUST like cat whiskers (well, she said that's what they were like. i couldn't see myself). she did this to help my sinuses because i woke up with a cold. i opened my eyes during the resting time when she leaves and all the needles just chill out in you, and i could see them in my peripheral vision, just like a cat would. it seems to me it would be distracting to always have your own whiskers showing to the corner of your eye, right?

she also put some in my lower back, near the spine, and they just popped right out, and she said it's because i must be strengthening my lower back a lot now that i go to the gym. actually, what she said first was 'woah, you're strong, they just popped out,' and i was like 'excuse me, what!'

she gave me even mopre herbal/chinese medicine pills to take, on top of all the ones from before. i have never taken so many pills in my life!!! soon i won't even have to eat!
she gave me a hug after the session. she took all my pulses from my wrists and said she can feel my kidneys stregthening. i hope so! i go to this doctor with an open mind, but i have no idea - yet - how to ascertain what is effected by the needles/pills, and what isn't. it's like magic. i guess i believe in that, too. but it's hard to prove when it happens. there were phases i went though last year where i was trying all these spells and magic wishes.

it's like magic, which is hard to prove. there were phases i went though last year where i was trying all these spells and magic wishes.

sorry if this minutae and rambling is esoteric to our reader(s)! i just thought there should be a post on the ides.
later.

later.

bitte, bitte

2006-03-12T20:30:00.000-05:00

"... craft oriented attention to making and display could be said to owe a debt to the typically female artists exploring these genres and to the socially invested political aspirations of their work."
just something to think about, liz, when you do all your girly-ass crafts

Well, my heart begins to fly like a dove When I take a double shot of my baby's love - the swingin' medallions

i'm reading one of my favorite books again: 'Of Human Bondage,' by W. Somerset Maugham. i read it long ago when i lived in portland, oregon. i take notes in the margins of fiction books that i read, so i bought another copy to read. that way, i can take new notes, and compare them when i'm done to see a weird reflection of 'cross-country alex five years ago'. isn't that a good personal project? the book is old fashioned and stuffy but i love it.

"He honestly mistook his sensuality for romantic emotion, his vacillation for the artistic temperment, and his idleness for philosophic calm."

"It was a strange life, dark and tortured, in which mena and women showed to remorseless eyes the evil that was in their hearts: a fair face concealed a depraved mind; the virtuous used virtue as a mask to hide their secret vice, the seeming-strong fainted within with their weakness; the honest were corrupt, the chaste were lewd."

i was reading it in a coffee shop last week and some guy chatted me up about it, but he was using all these off-putting english major words and his commentary style was pedantic. i decided to tell him maugham was my favorite author, and that i liked this book because it was so wonderfully LONG [which is true], and he was like "But The Razor's Edge isn't long, and Cakes and Ale is short!" That reaction was funny to me!!!!

ok, bye!

a hand in need

2006-03-11T22:11:00.000-05:00

awesome news finally surfaces!

+ neverland ranch is closing and i never even got to visit (though i have had the luck of going to disneyland, knotts berry farm, AND medieval times = almost one quarter of neverland awesomeness)
1. where are all the animals to go?
2. is there a new bahrainian ranch? MECCA?

+ gwb's assistant is trying to steal from target!!!! he was the domestic policy advisor! "If the allegations are true, something went wrong in Claude Allen's life, and that is really sad."- gwb
1. compulsive shoplifter?
2. bet with friends
3. he didn't make enough money? why do rich people need credit cards anyway? shouldn't they have to pay for everything up front?

+ adroable!

+ prehistoric rodents live again, thank you jesus

tender are the planets, tender is the night!

2006-03-09T22:08:00.000-05:00

i'm stealing this from my friend yoko's website.
geocities DOT com SLASH yerkachica.

MERCURY IS IN RETROGRADE< so...

"In general, Mercury rules thinking and perception, processing and disseminating information and all means of communication, commerce and transportation. By extension, Mercury rules people who work in these areas, especially people who work with their minds or their wits: writers and orators, commentators and critics, gossips and spin doctors, tricksters and thieves.

Mercury retrograde gives rise to personal misunderstandings; flawed, disrupted, or delayed communications, negotiations and trade; glitches and breakdowns with phones, computers, cars, buses, and trains. And all of these problems usually arise because some crucial piece of information, or component, has gone astray, or awry.

It is therefore not wise to make important decisions while Mercury is retrograde, since it is very likely that these decisions will be clouded by misinformation, poor communication and careless thinking. Mercury is all about mental clarity and the power of the mind, so when Mercury is retrograde, these intellectual characteristics tend to be less acute than usual, as the critical faculties are dimmed."

**at least for me, it seems like frighteningly good advice (trickster! thief!)
**when will mercury start going in the right direction? does anyone know...

it's a start

2006-03-06T23:06:00.000-05:00

goals before half birthday:

learn runes
buy lots of photo albums
give away most of special shirts
make special packages for stepsisters
harness power of ginger
apply to accupuncture school
sheep skin rug photos
make mix cd for mom
work on stencils
ween the children in my charge off videogames
books on tape: listen to them and make them
build liz a house from found sea glass

"I tell the women that the face is my experience and the hands are my soul -- anything to get those panties down."
CHARLES BUKOWSKI

i mean, really...

love saves the day, right?

starlight?

2006-03-02T15:11:00.000-05:00

no more.

creeping creepily along the crevices of my computer

2006-03-02T00:56:00.000-05:00

i am cleaning out my computer. i am finding lists of things i was supposed to do 9 months ago. there are things on these simple lists that i have not done yet. this is making me panic.
first issue: jobs: jobs are stupid: you are a worse person for not having a real job: your life is going nowhere
second issue: moving away: if you really wanted to you would have done so already: you are just as american and apathetic as everyone else: if you had gotten a real job already, you would be closer to moving
third issue: your friends: you are a fraud to all your friends: they are braver than you are: you made promises that you have broken out of apathy: they live in a different world
poll: has having your computer for 9 months improved your life?
1. i thought getting a computer would help me get a job
2. i look at more than 20 websites a day
3. i learn something new from the internet every day
4. i pay my bills online, thus negating any fee for paper cheques thus far
5. all my friends have computers, i fit in better
6. i am able to better scrutinize my ever changing musical taste
7. i get at least one email every 2 days
8. looking back upon a photo library of a year is intense
summation: looking at a year through a computer is really disturbing! i thought i forgot most of this stuff. i am happy i delete bad correspondences at will! it would be much more panic inducing otherwise!

music that was popular a year ago:
snoop dogg
q lazzarus
love
marvin gaye
ariel pink

music that is popular now:
3-6 mfia
juelz
talking heads
tim harden
brenton wood
beach boys
silver jews
whodini
david axelrod

6 mo:
fine young cannibals
erasure
kate bush
jason forest
juvenile
jay z
kelis
it is scary to see pictures of yourself a year ago. it is even scarier to see pictures of you 2 years ago. i hope that all pictures of me two years ago circulating the internet disappear into the ether of memory rather than the excessivly flawed memory of digital media.
thank you.

walking running jumping falling

2006-03-01T12:11:00.000-05:00

"today too, i experienced something i hope to understand in a few days. around my left hand was a shining ring of hazy white flames. i considered carefully the left side of my own dark coat. in the middle of my heart there was a small white spot. i don't know what it's supposed to mean. why is fortune so capricious? why is joy so quickly done? why did you leave me? why are you gone?"

2006-02-27T18:55:00.000-05:00

gallardo surprise

2006-02-27T17:55:00.000-05:00

adorable!

my dreams = s. california landscape of my childhood + science news

2006-02-27T13:58:00.000-05:00

last night i had a dream where i was riding a panther who had horny knobs on its head that i could steer it with. i had to make sure it got to a nature reserve, so that the people in cars wouldn't kill it. we were traveling across all of california to death valley, but it wasn't realistic- it was like i was riding the panther on a parchment map. that was pretty cool. the steering knobs are how i imagine the scientologist energy meter to be! naturalistic-spaceage. the nature reserve looked alot like descanso gardens in la (even though it was supposed to be by death valley), where i went to summer camp for a few years when i was a kid. perhaps a conflation between the nature reserve article i read in national geographic and the picture i put on the blog the other day.

when i lived in cambridge, the only cool thing that happened other than going to the natural history museum was participating in this dream study where i would get woken up in the middle of the night and have to write down my dreams. this was really good because my dreams are normally pretty awesome and it feeds my imagination to remember them. there was a time when i was home for a summer and i slept so much i constructed a vivid dream reality that i actully cared more about than my waking life. it was really awesome, but probably not very healthy.

so maybe i can have a new dream project...

news review:
* the eu has pledged to fill the palestinian donor gap after the dick faced united states refused to maintain funding to the democratically elected hamas government
* featured in today's daily candy (NOT REALLY NEWS!)- maybe i'll get a raise!
* osama likes hugs
* sometimes i feel like the us is like communitst russia- spying, lines, not enough of anything good, etc
* us hates human rights etc.
* scary things lie under brooklyn, i am depressed that the brits are talking about it before i am
* hyperbolic predictions conflating climate change and pandemic disease
* rethinking beavers!

actually, my second dream last night actually related to the beavers article- i was hiding in a sunken submarine and could breathe under water! it was just like the (now extinct) submarine ride at disneyland.

i'm reading another book!

2006-02-22T23:37:00.000-05:00

i have just a couple pages left.
it's called "hard-boiled wonderland and the end of the world," by haruki murakami.

*spoiler*

it's about unicorns in this guys head,
and the unicorn's breath in the self-residue of the townspeople in his head,
and then they die and their skulls hold the dreams, and...
well i like it because it's a fanciful deviation from my concerns,
AND has some kind of weird relevance,
based on it's examination of fragmented mind and delusional thinking!

anywayyyyy,

excerpt:

"Your plain fat woman is fine. Fat women are like clouds in the sky. They're just floating there, nothing to do with me. But your young, beautiful fat woman is another story. I am demanded to assume a posture towards her. I could end up sleeping with her. That is probably where all the confusion comes in...
Sex is an extremely subtle undertaking, unlike going to the department store on Sunday to buy a thermos. Even among young, beautiful, fat women, there are destinctions to be made. Fleshed out in one way, they'll lead you in the right direction; fleshed out another way, they'll leave you lost, trivial, confused.
In this sense, sleeping with fat women can be a challenge. There must be as many paths of human fat as there are ways of human death."

EXACTLY!!!

i have only a few pages left. more excerpts to come.

recap log three

2006-02-22T16:29:00.000-05:00

there was also a snow storm that happened

Winter Wonderland

it was fun!

i didn't have to work!

more recap pt 2

2006-02-22T15:46:00.000-05:00

so to further illustrate why i haven't blogged forever, i figured i could fill in the blanks with some pictures of what i was up to:

@ above you will find the loveliest cake i have ever had for my birthday: you really must try some! my brother and sarah got it for me and it was so good, it was kind of like having a religious experience. if you don't live in nyc, they'll ship it overnight garunteed perfect!
so, recently, yes, i have been discovering sweet things i like (previously unheard of). it must have something to do with my now older taste buds! another example of this trend is that i like cookies- double chocolate chocolate chip cookies from the city bakery. please be notified of the secret covert outpost on 1st and 13th!

@@ this next picture is a picture of me wasted and scribbling intently on a drawing at a karoke bar. it is representative of the fact that i have been going out way too much to be productive (syptomatic of too much working!!!). thank god my brother is watching out and documenting such poignent moments of squalor- good for reevaluating what i am doing with my time!

@@@ i am still thinking of the best places to live- with the rate at which greenland's ice sheet is melting my favorite choice of amsterdam might not work out. islands are appealing to me right now, despite their risky sea level nature.

democracy by assasination

2006-02-22T13:15:00.000-05:00

so, beginning here, feb 22, i can start to talk about things i meant to talk about weeks ago, but was too distracted to do.

i have been reading this really good book from sv about muslim and christian-rejecting corsairs ("pirates") in the 14th to 17th centuries. alex says that pirates are "fashionable", but if you know anything about the history of islam/muslim world and/or the pre-germany history of europe, the interesting things about this period are not just relating to dumb old pirate shit.

i lived in hungary for a while and worked in the national museum, and from this i learned alot of awesome european history of that highschool had never scratched surface. hungarians, like most of europe, have long standing feuds with the muslims- most of hungary was under ottoman rule for 200 years only to be regained under the hapsburg empire in 1849- not that long ago!

i think its amazing how historically alienated from islam the west is, becuase the history is so recent. the history of the migration of islam as a religion as well as the migration of the people carrying the religion is totally relevent today, a fact that gets dampered by the blanket of the west's perception of a two dimentional islam. a really interesting facet of the spead of islam is that of janissaries, where kidnapped/enslaved children were raised as an army for the sultan, and therefore became the very fortification of islam itself. the case of the janissary army is one of the first examples of social mobility in history, where one could move through the ranks of the army and therefore gain power and perstiege without consideration of class or ethnic origins.

anyway, back to the corsair book, a main point addresses the fact that becuase of the flexible and fluid nature of the muslim power structure, converts were generally more free to live as they please than europeans, hence the high number of renegadoes (christian converts). these corsairs were free thinkers who followed and established their own rule- the book beautifully terms as "democracy by assasination".

erected to block scrolling led messages atop the us embassy, cuba

establishing one's own law due to the disparate measures of power in place does not seem so far from contemporary- the current western empires are at odds with thier individual inhabitants (like me!) with little or no agency. perhaps there will be a new rise of pirates after the world free market collapse of 2012. taking free leave of countries/corporations/religions/powers et al can be adventurous without the abandonment of responsibility. castro might be considered a modern day corsair.

written apology

2006-02-22T02:21:00.000-05:00

i am sorry for not blogging for a very very long time. the blog is dead, but i will revive. i will re-capitulate the past 3.5 weeks for myself and readership with bright flashing colors and pomp and flair.

today i got a postcard from harpers advertising a "town hall meeting" about the "case for impeachment" i hate to be bitter and/or cynical and/or hypersensetive, but i had to write them an email about it:

"to: letters@harpers.org
subject: why are you charging for a town hall "public" forum?
1/
if people feel passionately enough about impeachment, they should talk without needing compensation
2/
if people feel passionately about impeachment, they shouldn't need to pay for a space to talk about it, becuase of its imperative nature
3/
talks about impeachment should not be treated as though they are an exhibition in a museum (see postcard)
4/
a public forum should not be guarded by any apparatus of class (i.e. admission fee- "everybody has ten dollars...")
5/
if ticketmaster is selling the talks about the impeachment, we may be sure that there will be none"

i guess in the united states you have to buy a town hall forum just like anything else.

LIZZZZZZ!

2006-02-20T17:06:00.000-05:00

LIZ.Z.Z.Z.Z.Z.Z... hey! why aren't you updating? you're the one with the fancy computer! what do you use it for, anyway, checking the weather every half hour? ordering and reordering your rainbow coalition iTunes playlists? photoshopping my head on to EACH AND EVERY ONE of the monsters from 'Where the WIld Thing Are' ???!?!? this machine i'm on won't even let me pick a font color. get with it!!!!!!!

vappy halentine's day!

2006-02-14T20:20:00.000-05:00

my favorite. every one probly knows about it, but if not:
www.postsecret.blogspot.com

szuletesnap liszt

2006-02-03T13:14:00.000-05:00

today is my birthday!
things i want for my birthday:

@ unlimited travel voucher for the year of 2006 on non-american airline
@ my own personal yacht and/or houseboat
@ tutors in these subjects: technology and computers, jewelry making, sculpture, house building, gourmet cooking esp. baking, harp and/or piano, world culture, textile and fiber making
@ chameleon and/or kakapo
@ eu citizenship
@ piece of undeveloped land at least 3 acres pref. in wooded area
@ hyper teleport terminal between my sister's house and nyc
@ company selling my decorative services
@ dictatorship in country and/or territory of my choice
@ some new jeans
@ replacement for my reeboc sneakers

blow blow blow your house down!

2006-02-02T16:44:00.000-05:00

so much bad news in such few days! i might have to take the cyanide capsule that i have been carrying in my pocket for the past 7 years.

first blow:
alito in supreme court

second wind:
congress approves budget cuts to welfare and student loans programs

blowing shingles off the roof:
new orleans the first of a wave of extinction?

blowing is unnoticable because of prolonged intensity:
it's unfortunate there are no tourists in pakistan

yaaaaaaaa!:
fear of disease gaining management of my higher mental functions

warm weather cold weather

2006-01-30T14:57:00.000-05:00

so at my new job i work with a 2yo that is most likely autistic. i've never met anyone with autism, so this is all pretty interesting and new to me. i remember being in hs and watching a documentary on this woman who was severly autistic. she couldn't do anything and everyone thought she was brain damaged, until one day she put herself in the machine that they use to calm cows before they are slaughtered, and everything came together and she could be normal again (the machine squeezes the cow, which is calming and then they put some spike through its head or something). now this woman is a professor who designs human livestock quarters and likes to talk about autism. anyway, the movie is an errol morris documentary called stairway to heaven, and i remember liking it alot from my 15 yo perspective.

the human model

news review:

* human faces have changed shape dramatically in the past 650 yrs
* climate change! it is 57 degrees in nyc today!
* bird flu in humans confirmed in iraq
* al qaida messages remind me of the where in the world is carmen sandiego computer game i had when i was 6

i spy

2006-01-27T17:07:00.000-05:00

actually linda mcartney (sp?) spied this guy that looks exactly like our friend, stevee vee! wow, what a resemblence! steve, can you work a little bit on that back-to-front "deb*" wave? (* short for debonaire)

hot stuff!

other things that have been spied recently:

look! it's alex's silkscreen- "thank the heavens i have nothing, help me not to hate the ones i must destroy." now that's the spirit, old chap! don't we love how perfeclty *new york* this image is! (d.i.y. components: foxy young lady, bob, iced coffee, repainted walls, graffiti, unabashed nihilism, sunglasses, wheat-pasted art, *biting lower lip)

aside: my new job is working with 2yolds, so i apologize for the repetitive children's book- nature of the post.

what next? i spy my new bag that i made that is soooooooo cool. please observe the creepy birds of the fabric:

look at their glowing eyes!

my own personal index:
chances i think You will find a 100$ bill while living in nyc in the next 10 years: 1 in 5
chance that You will watch total recall in the next 5 years: 100%
number of schools that will have dance dance revolution instead of p.e., in west virginia: 753
cost of dance package/school: 740$
% of harlem nyers that have diabetes: 45
people in my family that have diabetes:3
people in my family that have found 100$ in nyc within 10 years: 1
: ???????
Doobie D?
what about me?

when life gives you lemons....

2006-01-26T11:15:00.000-05:00

new job ! ! !!

2006-01-23T11:36:00.000-05:00

To NASA With Love

On with the space program,
Shuttles shall not cease!
And since you're taking citizens,
take my boss -- please

--Linda Thomas

DAZE OF THE WEAK:

Maundy

maundering
hither & yon
bee stings
syringes
bleed pressures
from the head

Dewsday

woke to
a breath
damp burlap

Vennsday

gridlocked
circuitous
highways
a chest of
shipwrecks

Thirsty

seconds
sandpaper
dry lips

Fried Egg

glaze of swollen
eyes false
teeth on anodized
steel links

GOOD LUCK!

too much attitude - a little attitude = inevitable overcompensation for lacking attitude

2006-01-18T15:51:00.000-05:00

i miss the days of summer when i would be v. drunk and still had an attitude that i could put forth about nyc that seemed at least a little sharp compared to now. i realized after having a good fun day, things have been left unchecked, attitudes brushed aside in light of sensitivity training. no more. due to unseasonably warm weather, my brain has discarded some of its winter cushion.

so to brush up on having good (sharp!>=drunk) attitudes about nyc, i came up with some ideas:

1. it is very wrong to enter someone's home when you have bed bug bites without prior warning and consent. so wrong in fact, it should be viewed as v. v. low social conduct and fines incurred.

2. i must post this potentially classic nyc story on the blog as relayed by s. r., occuring just a few days ago to a friend of a friend!!

this girl is dog sitting in the city and staying at the house of the people, who are out of town. the dog is a pretty big dog, a golden retriever, about 8 years old. so, the third day the girl is dog sitting, she comes home and the dog is dead. it was oldish and died of natural causes, so everything should have been ok to explain to the owners, but the girl was freaked out, and, not thinking particularly clearly ("i should call the owners and tell them that their dog died while i was out, and ask what i should do with it"), decided to seek out the only information resource that she could think of for dead pets: the ASPCA. so, she calls the ASPCA hotline and the conversation goes something like this:

girl: i am taking care of this dog and it died and i don't know what to do with it. what do i do, ASPCA?
call center personel: well ma'am, we do do dog disposal services, we will come to your house, take the dog, and dispose of it humanely and legally.
girl: ok, that sounds great. how much does that cost?
call center personel: it will be two hundred dollars, shall we come right now?
girl: two hundred dollars?! i don't have two hundred dollars! what should i do?!?
c.c.p.: well, you can bring the dog to us, and we will dispose of it and then it will only cost seventy five dollars. would you like to do that?
girl: but, how do i get the dog there? (ASPCA is far away in midtown)
c.c.p.: well you put the dog in a container or a blanket and you take a car.
girl: a car? i can't afford a car. i have NO money!
c.c.p.: well, then you can come on the subway.
girl: the subway!
++++++++

so the girl frantically looks about the apartment for the proper recepticle, finally coming upon a suitcase of the absent family. she stuffs the giant dead dog into the suitcase and begins her journey to the subway. the dog is v. heavy and the girl struggles the whole way. she has to transfer to the f train and as she is struggling with the suitcase, looking totally freaked out (with a secret dead dog in a suitcase, you might be really freaked out about being in public), a young man asks her if she needs some assistance:

young man: that bag looks awful heavy, do you need some help?
girl: no, no, it's ok. i, uh, it's my responsibility.
young man: are you sure? i could just carry it for you up the stairs.
girl: (struggling up the stairs) no! i don't need your help! it's my suitcase, it's my responsibility. young man: what all do you have in there? it looks really heavy- are you sure you don't need help?
girl (i promise this is verbatum): my whole life ok? i'm moving, i have my whole life in here!
++++++++

young man lets up, they both wait on the platform for the f train. a few minutes pass, the man is shuffling his feet about 10 feet away. all of a sudden, he dashes towards the girl, as though he were going to knock her down. he Grabs The Suitcase and runs out of the station, with her left dazed on the platform. he probably thought he was getting some fancy shit, man, fancy shit. hopefully to come soon: update! ok, so that was a pretty good story, right?

3. january playlist (haven't done this for a while)

oblivious - galaxy 500
when i'm gone - brenda holloway
i'll give my life - brenda holloway
the edge - david axelrod
south - chamillionaire
lonely boy - iron butterfly
sing me back home - everly bros
supresto - malcolm mclaren
down - chamillionaire
satellite city - orange juice
wait - shocking blue
falling and laughing - orange juice
baby you got it - brenton wood
kiss and say goodbye (manhattans) - og ron c
clean up woman - betty wright
it's hard to believe in love for long - tim hardin
dallas - silver jews

natural history vs. taxidermy

2006-01-13T15:18:00.000-05:00

my lovely friend martina has returned from her yearly luxurious journey to amsterdam and the south of france, where she read, enjoyed hash cigarettes, drank wine, and ate delicious cheeses. that's kind of what it is like to live there! martina and i became friends when i live in amsterdam, and has the enviable status of dutch citizenship. lucky her!
martina loves to do fun stuff, so yesterday we went to the museum of natural history and looked at all the wonderful taxidermied animals. as i have mentioned before, i love taxidermy, so trips like these are morally rejuvinating.

i also went to the premiere of manderlay, the new lars von trier movie with my brother. i have to say that i liked dogville better (this-manderlay- is second in the american trilogy), but manderlay is probably more important for a specifically american audience, because it has to do with slavery: why do americans never make movies about the end of slavery? i basically have no concept of the history of slaves/post-slave existence between the 1880s-1965. so it's cool that this movie talks about how complicated a social action ending slavery actually was (is).
i hate how lars von trier never gives an idea of how to solve problems, he just illustrates them well. in the end, we are basically given the message that america is a product of its irreversable history, and the best way to get out of the problem that is at all immediately attainable, is to leave. it's not very comforting to people who already see these problems and already have dialogues about them. i mean, i already want to leave.
the two main characters were at the premiere and talked: the girl, ron howard's daughter seemed pretty dumb and answered all questions phrased, "what do you think," "well i don't really know what i think yet..." which was totally annoying. the guy i think is french african, and made some good points including that the story of slavery/post slavery is allegorical for any post colonial reality, bringing up the recent paris riots and comparing the situation of the north africans in europe.
you should go see it though, manderlay- if you haven't seen dogville, you should see that even more. i mean, there are lots of lars von trier movies that everyone should see, but that's not really pertinent to this post.

slavery is scary and trying devour us like this big prehistoric fish at the NHM

the need to travel more seems obvious

2006-01-10T11:32:00.000-05:00

i love the bbc because they publish stories with the proper sense of 1st world irony as any powerful country should. i mean, why can't the ny times have interesting international stories that show a little divergence from cnn-style headlines, like the BBC's" indonesians use bank ATM machines to make sacrifices?"

to change the subject, lately i have been listening to nice old songs and pretending i live in another time/place. (this will help with ideas for designing my house) or check this out.

to change the subject again (lighting quick!), i was discussing whether havana or port-au-prince would be better to visit. if such a visit were to occur, would i be willing to abandon everything and stay there, in dilapidated not-first world ideological splendor, old cars and all? the image of a tin can full of water is reoccuring. good ways to daydream about such places:

*watch the five obstructions and think about being the perfect human (btw, ga/stv one of you still has this)
*think about empty containers and what you could put in them that didn't cost very much money
*imagine the beauty of a space you could never entirely clean, think *PATINA*
*think with all your heart, about how wonderful it would be to be outside the united states
*ponder the concept ~~~castro~~~~

i am going to think about all these things when i go to work today (beloved boss had a little too much to drink, so i have to open the store). baby steps to