ahh

today i got my hair cut in a salon for the first time since i was 12 years old. it was really scary! i always think salons are overpriced, snooty and stupid, so this was a challenging activity to my daily life. in looking at the website, i freaked myself out, finding that the salon did Makeovers as well as hair and these haircuts go for 200$. it seems to have turned out ok though. watching someone struggle with making my hair behave like they want it is very amusing. i was getting it cut by an appretice or something for free, so it was even funnier because he was trying to make it perfect for the inspection by his hair overlord ("Hairseer"). he spent about an hour trying to make the curls curly, but not frizzy. after this long ordeal, i felt like celbrating with a bowl of ramen and some gerolsteiner. classy!
so, now i have to try to get some stuff done. i am supposed to make bags to show this lady so she can sell them at her store. i hate making things for the anticipation of people buying them. these bags- like the one i made for myself a few months ago are cool- seem much less cool in looking at them like someone is going to buy them. buying cool stuff is so lame. i was seriously questioning the talent it takes to make jewelry (another market that i am entering) until i saw some jewelry that my boss tried to make. it is always comforting to see bad things with similar intentions as yourself. (going to galleries in nyc is reassuring! i am going to paint this month for soo)
yes, so this anticipation of productivity is totally annoying. it is driving me crazy, making me have wierd dreams and wake up in the middle of the night. the other night i had a dream about the olympics and all the new events they made for them (family costume event, the color of toothbrush, hairstyling re: my dread of haircut). i hate waking up in the middle of the night and i have been trying to erradicate the problem- doing everything i am supposed to do, paying my bills, changing my pillowcase, switching my pillow, adjusting my window, exercising, eating vegetables, drinking water, drinking coffee, drinking beer, drinking less beer, drinking wine, not looking at the computer, reading the news on my computer, washing my hair after 3 days rather than 4, hanging clothes in color order- purple red yellow white green blue grey black, throwing away paper clothes small plastic objects presents. sometimes i really just feel like its hard to get a good nights sleep. i am probably just really anxious about my boyfriend moving here, which will be good, but also crazy, and is happing in the soon future, but not soon enough to be now, and not far enough to be not soon. when i think soon i think now.
maybe if i listen to enough og ron c i will slow down my brain to half speed and sleeping waking thinking will be better.
there are also all these other stupid things that i need to think about that are hard big ideas that suck to think about- i need to learn dreamweaver- that sounds totally lame. i need to take a science class. that also sounds lame. i also need to make a business card. a little better than totally lame.
yeah, so this is why i am too busy to make funny blog posts. i feel really boring and can only think about my sleeping/business troubles.