week of horror

so this week lots of traumatic shit happened. for instance i went to trader joes. i grew up with one of the 3 orig. trader joes in my neighborhood, so the blooming of the trader joes corpo-monster is a new/disturbing/funny thing to happen. trader joes, welcome to nyc where pensioners and nyu students alike can make fake ethnic food in their microwaves! thank you, for allowing crunchies, munchies, savory and sweet fake imports and bulk buying repackaged in trader________'s name. in case some people don't know, trader hoes' potato chips used to come in a paper bag that said habeus corpus. when i was in 3rd grade and went to multnomah magnet, i brought a bag of potato chips to a class party at school and my teacher somehow thought habeaus corpus in latin meant naked people and didn't want to serve them. ha! funnier every day! especially bc on front of the old bag, there was a court scene with some dudes in wigs. btw, in case you didn't know i don't know how to spell, esp latin, esp bc i am from la! ga says that no one from la knows how to spell, as experienced through her wmbs...
so, to finish up this little story about trader hoes, the potato chips, the sustinance of my childhood since i can remember have stopped being made in their "no-salt" version, mainly as i see, due to the national expansion of the store. lame? i can't even express how lame i think this is (what, were they like, "oh, 'americans' don't like things that don't taste like anything....") i make an effort to complain at all junctions of trader joes customer service: did you find everything ok?- well, actually, no, the potato chips....- oh, do you mean vegetable chips?- no, i didn't mean fucking vegetable chips, i mean the potato chips i have been eating since i was 5 years old, you know before some freak invented vegetable chips in 2001.
anyway, i'm sure most people don't understand, but this is all very traumatizing. but, in case you want to go to trader joes, you could pick up some of the other products they have yet to discontinue like: essence of nature lip balm, wasabi mayonaise, almond butter, blackberry jam, vanilla almond crunch, goat gouda, droste extra dark pastilles, avacados, gyoza, chicken tamales, gerolsteiner, tofutti cuttis- chocolate, double rainbow icecream, chocolate chip cookies, wild rice, hansons black cherry, coffee, la brea bakery bread with olives, pizza with olives and goat cheese, arugula in a bag, kiss my face pear soap, zingos cinnamon mints,
et all other things that i can't think of right now.
sooooo. other horrific things happened too. i went to the doctor, which i thought would be terrible, but was actually quite fun. when i told her how often i drink she asked if anyone had ever told me to cut back- actually, no. huh. she also said that i had very clean teeth. that's remarkable, since i haven't been to the dentist for 2 years. what else? she said that the bike accident i was in a year ago has in fact dislocated my shoulder- that's cool- some things last forever. she also said i was healthy and could get free health insurance because this is nyc. awesome. if anyone is interested in seeing a good doctor, go see her! loretta terranova, brooklyn hospital- 40$ flat rate.
more trauma: don't drink this horrible beer called baltika- the label is in russian so maybe you wouldn't be able to read it, but, know the russian label means danger. today my day was ruined by a baltika headache, the most severe non-hangover headache i have suffered in at least 2 yrs.
um, what else?
not much. thank god alex came back alive and not devoured by crabs known to kill little baby birds. thank god it is almost spring and almost not cold anymore.
i have been having wierd "browsing dreams" where my dreams have a large section where i am observing a selection of objects- technology plays a large role in these segments.
more stuff has happened, but i can't remember. our internet connection has been almost fully erradicated, i think, by this creepy yuppie woman with glasses and two matching miniature terriers downstairs. who do these people think they are? sadly, for morale sake, i think we will have to start buying the internet. wah wah.
whatever. i am just waiting for my world map to get here in the mail.