futureshock therapy 2006!

so, lately, i have been dealing with all of my friends' quarter life crises. people are *freaking* out and i don't understand why this is such a common problem with people i know. i was talking to my housemate sarah earlier about it and she seems to think that the current multitude of options and choices, combined with the unstable condition of world affairs is contributing to the existential misery of our peers, but i would argue that generations before us might have seen similar conditions without reacting the same way. why is it so hard to find a fulfilling goal these days?

i am reading this book that dear friend georgia gave me for christmas about dr. johnson's dictionary (the first comprhensive english language dictionary to be compiled). this book is amazing in many ways, but a part i find especially interesting is the discussion of johnson's meloncholic approach to intellectualism, especially his own intellectual goals, and this seeming similarity to people i know.

i find the status of the intellectual and literary/artistic class in pre-victorian england surprisingly depicted in a similar way to the way we talk about people pursuing these goals today. in discussing johnson's contemporaries that assisted in the compilation of the dictionary, hutchins emphasizes their low class/vagabond nature, as people could not yet viably make a living off of such flighty literary goals at the time. writers tended to live in a dilapidated neighborhood called "Grubstreet," where drinking, debt, and legal troubles were common. johnson, however embraced these "idle" and "worthless persons" in his company and they are likely to be a main source of assistance in his intellectual endeavor. this situation parallels the little-utilized talents of my friends, and their impoverished/self-loathing situation. a really great illustrative quote in the book comes from a lord macaulay:

"sometimes blazing in gold-laced hats and waistcoats; sometimes lying in bed because their coats had gone to pieces, or wearing paper cravats because their linen was in pawn; sometimes drinking Tokay with Betty Careless... they knew luxury; they knew beggary; but they never knew comfort... they were as untameable as much wedded to their desolate freedom, as the wild ass. they could no more be broken to the offices of social man than the unicorn could be trained to serve and abide by the crib."

dr. johnson is writing just before London began any type of industrialization, and perhaps this parallels our status on the brink of a radically changing world where technology is about to restructure most aspects of our lives (via free-market globalization). either way, making a living viably as an artist or writer would be considered absurd in both ages: dr. johnson lived in a world before a middle class and we in a world where the middle class is being erradicated (perhaps during our lifetime). so, yes, this is sad.

in hutchins' book, there is a whole chapter about meloncholy, apparently an affliction he (Johnson) suffered his whole life. one cause of this was the unbelievably daunting task of compiling something that would never be finished or feel properly accomplished. sometimes i feel this way when i am looking at the internet. there is no way for me to even begin to learn something comprehensive or similarly accomplish anything that is a good representation of what i know. johnson refers to his endeavor: "what ills a scholar's life assail: Toil, envy, want, the garret, and jail." is this what lies ahead? i have to say, my room is slightly garret-esque.

it seems like such capable people should be more happy with the contributions that they have the options to explore, rather than depleting from any sense of satisfaction with the envy to have an undefined "more."

i was talking to another friend the other day about what i spend my most enjoyable time doing, and my results creepily pointed to the internet. (the argument: where should i live if what i do in nyc doesn't really warrent living in nyc?) if we are defined by what we do, and increasingly, what we do is stare at and interact through media rather than "real life," it seems like the identity of our time would be plagued in a similar fashion as our friend dr. johnson. this book is awesome and perhaps inspiring, if you like to read about people in honorable mental anguish.