sixz fingaz 4 u

so between beginning the diamond age, learning about 'ractions, and reading cf fan fiction, i am inclined to believe that the mexican terrorist group, "the six fingered fist" is in fact real.

Hazardous Material Storage; Nuevo Laredo Mexico summery; case #2145 1998

ps

boriqua?

revolucion es el remedio

so there have been huge protests in la this week in response to the immigration bill hr4437 that is up. these are pictures from the la march (1-2 million) on march 25 from la imc, but there were also student walk outs- hs and ms (26,000) on 27 march.

it really bothers me when people give mexicans a hard time about being in the us, especially because a gigantic chunk of mexico was basically stolen from the mexicans in similar fashion to the lands of the native americans. as can be learned from most great world conflicts, people have attachment to land that they've had for a long time and will come back! i guess its not true for all of the united states, but at least where i'm from, mexico is a very strong referencial basis for most aspects of daily life.
for instance, i lived on hermosa ave. you would take that to colorado, and then take figueroa to school. i think we took a school trip to sacramento once and learned all about how cortes came to california in the 16th c. or something. after school i would eat a delicious mango with lemon and salt on it. yum!
"americans" hate mexicans becuase they are racist, and they like to think they're better than people that have less money than themselves. it really makes me mad when people think that mexicans are lazy because most mexican immigrants have probably worked far harder in their life than anyone who went to college and got a fancy job.
the new immigration policy is laughably horrid, and i really hope that people other than mexicans can protest about it too, because laws like this will affect everything about this country. if this law had existed when my grandmother had tried to come to this country, i would not be here.
hopefully people will get really pissed about their mexican friends and fellow nationals being treated so badly and targeted with such racist furvor and protest all over the united states. (sigh, but probably not) in any case, it makes me proud to see so many people united in protest in this lame country where people are too embarrassed to let their political identities show.

this animal is real!!!!

my mom knows all the sixties dances:

the watusi
the bus stop
the mash potato
the twist
the swim

**{picture is NOT my mom}

do the dances people i know have names? can we name them if they don't have specific names already? i know some of the dance moves i do could be called:
the ringwald
the impatient shimmy
the supermarket
the bus stop
the muppet
the axl

people i know do some special moves, too. if i was to name them, some might be:
the snaps n' twirl
the snaps n' side-hop (different person)
the eyes-up sway
climbing the rope
the generic booty shake
the frantic prance



is the size of the smile in a photo of a stranger a clue to their everyday happiness? there are some people (not people i know) who smile the same smile in every (anticipated) photo. what makes them do this? it is not the way i approach photographing. i want the photos to show what has happened in my life, or in the lives of people i know. but maybe it is better to show the same unwavering smile in each moment, the smile you are reaching for, practicing for a time when the smile will never leave your face?

this is my mom. she always looks so youthful to me. she is probably in the ocean looking at the coral reefs right now.





my mom teaches pre-K. i babysat three- and five-year-old brothers on sunday. it was hard! we had fun, but they also "tested my boundaries."

examples of fun:

experiment with all spices from cupboard in a bowl of water, which we all tasted (lemony-tasting face + "mmmm")
chutes and ladders, first with the board, then freestyle on arms, couch, feet, noses
drawing elephants with planes and a lake, and a bear in a cave with an apple tree and bees
construction of elaborate marble chute and maze
making popsicles (which must be checked every 20 minutes to see if they've froze yet)
reading 'blueberries for sal' before tuck-in
fishing for magnetic-lipped fish in the bathtub during bath

examples of boundary testing:

splashing soapy johnson & johnson bubble water in my face
throwing banana peel at me with delighted giggling
pouring water on the floor in the kitchen
snatching take-out menus and flinging into the soapy, filling bathtub
refusing to speak to younger brother, causing him dismay for no reason
requesting cinnamon toast before dinner and then not being able to finish pasta

anyway, kids are a trip! these particular ones were REALLY smart. liz has babysat them before and can back me up on this.



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"The ants made a faint crunching sound as life left them. Like an elf eating toast, or a crisp biscuit."
there are two kinds of people: those who killed ants as children, and those who didn't.

week of horror

so this week lots of traumatic shit happened. for instance i went to trader joes. i grew up with one of the 3 orig. trader joes in my neighborhood, so the blooming of the trader joes corpo-monster is a new/disturbing/funny thing to happen. trader joes, welcome to nyc where pensioners and nyu students alike can make fake ethnic food in their microwaves! thank you, for allowing crunchies, munchies, savory and sweet fake imports and bulk buying repackaged in trader________'s name. in case some people don't know, trader hoes' potato chips used to come in a paper bag that said habeus corpus. when i was in 3rd grade and went to multnomah magnet, i brought a bag of potato chips to a class party at school and my teacher somehow thought habeaus corpus in latin meant naked people and didn't want to serve them. ha! funnier every day! especially bc on front of the old bag, there was a court scene with some dudes in wigs. btw, in case you didn't know i don't know how to spell, esp latin, esp bc i am from la! ga says that no one from la knows how to spell, as experienced through her wmbs...
so, to finish up this little story about trader hoes, the potato chips, the sustinance of my childhood since i can remember have stopped being made in their "no-salt" version, mainly as i see, due to the national expansion of the store. lame? i can't even express how lame i think this is (what, were they like, "oh, 'americans' don't like things that don't taste like anything....") i make an effort to complain at all junctions of trader joes customer service: did you find everything ok?- well, actually, no, the potato chips....- oh, do you mean vegetable chips?- no, i didn't mean fucking vegetable chips, i mean the potato chips i have been eating since i was 5 years old, you know before some freak invented vegetable chips in 2001.
anyway, i'm sure most people don't understand, but this is all very traumatizing. but, in case you want to go to trader joes, you could pick up some of the other products they have yet to discontinue like: essence of nature lip balm, wasabi mayonaise, almond butter, blackberry jam, vanilla almond crunch, goat gouda, droste extra dark pastilles, avacados, gyoza, chicken tamales, gerolsteiner, tofutti cuttis- chocolate, double rainbow icecream, chocolate chip cookies, wild rice, hansons black cherry, coffee, la brea bakery bread with olives, pizza with olives and goat cheese, arugula in a bag, kiss my face pear soap, zingos cinnamon mints,
et all other things that i can't think of right now.
sooooo. other horrific things happened too. i went to the doctor, which i thought would be terrible, but was actually quite fun. when i told her how often i drink she asked if anyone had ever told me to cut back- actually, no. huh. she also said that i had very clean teeth. that's remarkable, since i haven't been to the dentist for 2 years. what else? she said that the bike accident i was in a year ago has in fact dislocated my shoulder- that's cool- some things last forever. she also said i was healthy and could get free health insurance because this is nyc. awesome. if anyone is interested in seeing a good doctor, go see her! loretta terranova, brooklyn hospital- 40$ flat rate.
more trauma: don't drink this horrible beer called baltika- the label is in russian so maybe you wouldn't be able to read it, but, know the russian label means danger. today my day was ruined by a baltika headache, the most severe non-hangover headache i have suffered in at least 2 yrs.
um, what else?
not much. thank god alex came back alive and not devoured by crabs known to kill little baby birds. thank god it is almost spring and almost not cold anymore.
i have been having wierd "browsing dreams" where my dreams have a large section where i am observing a selection of objects- technology plays a large role in these segments.
more stuff has happened, but i can't remember. our internet connection has been almost fully erradicated, i think, by this creepy yuppie woman with glasses and two matching miniature terriers downstairs. who do these people think they are? sadly, for morale sake, i think we will have to start buying the internet. wah wah.
whatever. i am just waiting for my world map to get here in the mail.

"... cold cement shower..."

hi people. i'm back early from culebra. disasters and emergencies were spaced strangely among quick moments and long hours of beauty and transcendence.

list {not chronological}:

baby sea turtle
dangerous walk in the dark
illness and infirmity
rice with butter
cafe bustelo
sunburn on purpose (out of spite?)
pelicans
tiny lizards at the doctor's office
fine grained sand beneath grateful toes
peanut butter and banana sandwhiches at the beach
a wistful tour of a campsite from four years ago
a winsome look into the future
baby chicks wandering around henry and laida's backyard
mosquito net
halographic jesus at the head of the bed
five pool games with mom at local bar on a sunday afternoon
iguana holding up airplane traffic in san juan
sitting next to pilot in six-seater plane over coral reef formations
complete disorientation
unusual appreciation of cold cement shower

in conclusion:
little sea crabs can come across as eerily humanoid in their crafty side-glancing behavior. i would say even MORE human-seeming than many mammals, which is so weird because crustaceans are only a stone's throw away from being bugs!!!



now that i'm back:

organizing fantasy photo project collection,
planning new indulgent magical/fantastical/historical re-enactment photo projects
listening to j. r. r. tolkien books on tape
looking forward to visit from darling cousin, sarah malmude, on tuesday
babysitting actual babies sunday
working on status as a regular at favorite moroccan coffee place, 'the bagel zone'

>>>>>>>^^ i miss my past and future friends!!!!! ^^<<<<<<<

cool earth

new things happening on the planet today:
* panspermia!
* i forgot to show this picture of an awesome city that i built with my babysitting kids:

* darpa insects infect the planet!
truely, stranger and stranger
* the other day steven forced me to watch the worst movie i have ever seen to date: quintet. we turned it off after 40 minutes because nothing had really happened yet, and i thought we agreed upon its poor quality, but later he subjected a.s. to check out what happened in the end. freak!
so far, the robert altman screenings have done well, but this one, unfortunately was a sci fi don't!





so watching a bunch of bad movies lately has left me cold and doubting about the activity, but today the history of violence is coming in the mail and i am holding out for a cronenberg classic?

la isla de las galletas

i am pretty much going to puerto rico tomorrow. for nine days. i am the only one i know who looks upon 'vacation' with such utter trepidation! we're going to an island i've been to twice before, first for my spring break freshman year for a week, and then for the whole month of december, 2001. those trips were in way different circumstances, though. anyhow, they have really beautiful coral reefs there. [i suppose this might be my last chance to see coral reefs, what with that tipping point already past.]



to get to the island you take a four-seater plane, which is kind of scary. if i crash, i love you all!

ahh

today i got my hair cut in a salon for the first time since i was 12 years old. it was really scary! i always think salons are overpriced, snooty and stupid, so this was a challenging activity to my daily life. in looking at the website, i freaked myself out, finding that the salon did Makeovers as well as hair and these haircuts go for 200$. it seems to have turned out ok though. watching someone struggle with making my hair behave like they want it is very amusing. i was getting it cut by an appretice or something for free, so it was even funnier because he was trying to make it perfect for the inspection by his hair overlord ("Hairseer"). he spent about an hour trying to make the curls curly, but not frizzy. after this long ordeal, i felt like celbrating with a bowl of ramen and some gerolsteiner. classy!
so, now i have to try to get some stuff done. i am supposed to make bags to show this lady so she can sell them at her store. i hate making things for the anticipation of people buying them. these bags- like the one i made for myself a few months ago are cool- seem much less cool in looking at them like someone is going to buy them. buying cool stuff is so lame. i was seriously questioning the talent it takes to make jewelry (another market that i am entering) until i saw some jewelry that my boss tried to make. it is always comforting to see bad things with similar intentions as yourself. (going to galleries in nyc is reassuring! i am going to paint this month for soo)
yes, so this anticipation of productivity is totally annoying. it is driving me crazy, making me have wierd dreams and wake up in the middle of the night. the other night i had a dream about the olympics and all the new events they made for them (family costume event, the color of toothbrush, hairstyling re: my dread of haircut). i hate waking up in the middle of the night and i have been trying to erradicate the problem- doing everything i am supposed to do, paying my bills, changing my pillowcase, switching my pillow, adjusting my window, exercising, eating vegetables, drinking water, drinking coffee, drinking beer, drinking less beer, drinking wine, not looking at the computer, reading the news on my computer, washing my hair after 3 days rather than 4, hanging clothes in color order- purple red yellow white green blue grey black, throwing away paper clothes small plastic objects presents. sometimes i really just feel like its hard to get a good nights sleep. i am probably just really anxious about my boyfriend moving here, which will be good, but also crazy, and is happing in the soon future, but not soon enough to be now, and not far enough to be not soon. when i think soon i think now.
maybe if i listen to enough og ron c i will slow down my brain to half speed and sleeping waking thinking will be better.
there are also all these other stupid things that i need to think about that are hard big ideas that suck to think about- i need to learn dreamweaver- that sounds totally lame. i need to take a science class. that also sounds lame. i also need to make a business card. a little better than totally lame.
yeah, so this is why i am too busy to make funny blog posts. i feel really boring and can only think about my sleeping/business troubles.

when he returned he smelled of elderberries

it's FINALLY the Ides of March....

today i edited an eleven year old's persuasive essay, on the book 'The Captive.' It was kind of hard because the essay needed a LOT of work, but i am unsure as to the standards applied to eleven year old's... what is expected of him?! the younger brother has taken to giving me random hugs, and right after he hugs me he always hugs lola, the cat, too.

i watched t.v. while i was on the elliptical machine today, and was super startled to witness a 'V for Vendetta' commercial with CAT POWER as the soundtrack, and her cover of the velvet underground song, no less! what's going on. incidentally, i have a copy of the comic book if anyone wants to borrow it to read before they see the movie.

i had accupuncture this morning and my doctor put needles in my face, in a new place! she put them next to my nose, JUST like cat whiskers (well, she said that's what they were like. i couldn't see myself). she did this to help my sinuses because i woke up with a cold. i opened my eyes during the resting time when she leaves and all the needles just chill out in you, and i could see them in my peripheral vision, just like a cat would. it seems to me it would be distracting to always have your own whiskers showing to the corner of your eye, right?

she also put some in my lower back, near the spine, and they just popped right out, and she said it's because i must be strengthening my lower back a lot now that i go to the gym. actually, what she said first was 'woah, you're strong, they just popped out,' and i was like 'excuse me, what!'

she gave me even mopre herbal/chinese medicine pills to take, on top of all the ones from before. i have never taken so many pills in my life!!! soon i won't even have to eat!
she gave me a hug after the session. she took all my pulses from my wrists and said she can feel my kidneys stregthening. i hope so! i go to this doctor with an open mind, but i have no idea - yet - how to ascertain what is effected by the needles/pills, and what isn't. it's like magic. i guess i believe in that, too. but it's hard to prove when it happens. there were phases i went though last year where i was trying all these spells and magic wishes.

it's like magic, which is hard to prove. there were phases i went though last year where i was trying all these spells and magic wishes.

sorry if this minutae and rambling is esoteric to our reader(s)! i just thought there should be a post on the ides.
later.

later.

bitte, bitte

"... craft oriented attention to making and display could be said to owe a debt to the typically female artists exploring these genres and to the socially invested political aspirations of their work."
just something to think about, liz, when you do all your girly-ass crafts

Well, my heart begins to fly like a dove When I take a double shot of my baby's love - the swingin' medallions



i'm reading one of my favorite books again: 'Of Human Bondage,' by W. Somerset Maugham. i read it long ago when i lived in portland, oregon. i take notes in the margins of fiction books that i read, so i bought another copy to read. that way, i can take new notes, and compare them when i'm done to see a weird reflection of 'cross-country alex five years ago'. isn't that a good personal project? the book is old fashioned and stuffy but i love it.

"He honestly mistook his sensuality for romantic emotion, his vacillation for the artistic temperment, and his idleness for philosophic calm."

"It was a strange life, dark and tortured, in which mena and women showed to remorseless eyes the evil that was in their hearts: a fair face concealed a depraved mind; the virtuous used virtue as a mask to hide their secret vice, the seeming-strong fainted within with their weakness; the honest were corrupt, the chaste were lewd."

i was reading it in a coffee shop last week and some guy chatted me up about it, but he was using all these off-putting english major words and his commentary style was pedantic. i decided to tell him maugham was my favorite author, and that i liked this book because it was so wonderfully LONG [which is true], and he was like "But The Razor's Edge isn't long, and Cakes and Ale is short!" That reaction was funny to me!!!!

ok, bye!

a hand in need

awesome news finally surfaces!

+ neverland ranch is closing and i never even got to visit (though i have had the luck of going to disneyland, knotts berry farm, AND medieval times = almost one quarter of neverland awesomeness)
1. where are all the animals to go?
2. is there a new bahrainian ranch? MECCA?

+ gwb's assistant is trying to steal from target!!!! he was the domestic policy advisor! "If the allegations are true, something went wrong in Claude Allen's life, and that is really sad."- gwb
1. compulsive shoplifter?
2. bet with friends
3. he didn't make enough money? why do rich people need credit cards anyway? shouldn't they have to pay for everything up front?

+ adroable!



+ prehistoric rodents live again, thank you jesus

tender are the planets, tender is the night!

i'm stealing this from my friend yoko's website.
geocities DOT com SLASH yerkachica.

MERCURY IS IN RETROGRADE< so...

"In general, Mercury rules thinking and perception, processing and disseminating information and all means of communication, commerce and transportation. By extension, Mercury rules people who work in these areas, especially people who work with their minds or their wits: writers and orators, commentators and critics, gossips and spin doctors, tricksters and thieves.

Mercury retrograde gives rise to personal misunderstandings; flawed, disrupted, or delayed communications, negotiations and trade; glitches and breakdowns with phones, computers, cars, buses, and trains. And all of these problems usually arise because some crucial piece of information, or component, has gone astray, or awry.

It is therefore not wise to make important decisions while Mercury is retrograde, since it is very likely that these decisions will be clouded by misinformation, poor communication and careless thinking. Mercury is all about mental clarity and the power of the mind, so when Mercury is retrograde, these intellectual characteristics tend to be less acute than usual, as the critical faculties are dimmed."

**at least for me, it seems like frighteningly good advice (trickster! thief!)
**when will mercury start going in the right direction? does anyone know...

it's a start

goals before half birthday:

learn runes
buy lots of photo albums
give away most of special shirts
make special packages for stepsisters
harness power of ginger
apply to accupuncture school
sheep skin rug photos
make mix cd for mom
work on stencils
ween the children in my charge off videogames
books on tape: listen to them and make them
build liz a house from found sea glass


"I tell the women that the face is my experience and the hands are my soul -- anything to get those panties down."
CHARLES BUKOWSKI

i mean, really...

love saves the day, right?

starlight?

no more.

creeping creepily along the crevices of my computer

i am cleaning out my computer. i am finding lists of things i was supposed to do 9 months ago. there are things on these simple lists that i have not done yet. this is making me panic.
first issue: jobs: jobs are stupid: you are a worse person for not having a real job: your life is going nowhere
second issue: moving away: if you really wanted to you would have done so already: you are just as american and apathetic as everyone else: if you had gotten a real job already, you would be closer to moving
third issue: your friends: you are a fraud to all your friends: they are braver than you are: you made promises that you have broken out of apathy: they live in a different world
poll: has having your computer for 9 months improved your life?
1. i thought getting a computer would help me get a job
2. i look at more than 20 websites a day
3. i learn something new from the internet every day
4. i pay my bills online, thus negating any fee for paper cheques thus far
5. all my friends have computers, i fit in better
6. i am able to better scrutinize my ever changing musical taste
7. i get at least one email every 2 days
8. looking back upon a photo library of a year is intense
summation: looking at a year through a computer is really disturbing! i thought i forgot most of this stuff. i am happy i delete bad correspondences at will! it would be much more panic inducing otherwise!

music that was popular a year ago:
snoop dogg
q lazzarus
love
marvin gaye
ariel pink

music that is popular now:
3-6 mfia
juelz
talking heads
tim harden
brenton wood
beach boys
silver jews
whodini
david axelrod

6 mo:
fine young cannibals
erasure
kate bush
jason forest
juvenile
jay z
kelis
it is scary to see pictures of yourself a year ago. it is even scarier to see pictures of you 2 years ago. i hope that all pictures of me two years ago circulating the internet disappear into the ether of memory rather than the excessivly flawed memory of digital media.
thank you.

walking running jumping falling

"today too, i experienced something i hope to understand in a few days. around my left hand was a shining ring of hazy white flames. i considered carefully the left side of my own dark coat. in the middle of my heart there was a small white spot. i don't know what it's supposed to mean. why is fortune so capricious? why is joy so quickly done? why did you leave me? why are you gone?"